CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU AND HOW ARE YOU?

Last weekend me and my female property hosted our first ever adult-style dinner party. Can you blame me? Look at the facts - I'm 28, I enjoy cooking, I know how to chew, I like friends and I currently rent my very own apartment. With those kinds of ingredients we were due to fry up a cooking party of epic pie-portions. I didn't make the pie. One of my guests did. It was delicious and covered in caramel sauce, a sauce I've grown to appreciate as I approach death.

I don't have any pictures to prove any of this, but here's a dramatic re-enactment, all the way from preliminary cooking to after dinner conversation:




So yeah, overall everything went smooth!

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One last night at the gorgeous AMC Yonge Dundas theatre here in Toronto. Despite the fact that most of the movie is like this...

Harry - I don't know what to do next!
Hermione - Let's run around some more
Harry - Oh look, I found an artifact in another forest
Hermione - And I think I've solved another mystery
Ron - You git!

...I enjoyed it because I love adventures more than I love money, but not as much as I love peaches. You think I could get an Internet date with a profile like that? I'd be bad at Internet dating. As long as a girl says she enjoys Swiss Chalet on Sundays, I'm all over her.

PERSONAL UPDATES SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO ME

I think I'm back into Coca-Cola again. It's hard for a guy to ignore the universe's most popular drink and 2nd most popular brand next to God. For awhile there I cut caffeine out of my life like it were an obsolete hobby because I thought it would improve my overall well-being, which I guess it did. But I just couldn't stay away from that sweet crisp taste and I felt so damn left out. Coke goes with any food except breakfast but it's not illegal like beer is.

And I'm finally into podcasts! Years ago, when my butt wasn't a problem and I was experimenting with beards, I kept hearing about these things and they sounded so cool, like a euphemism for C-3Po's dick. Then I found out that they're just people chattin' in mp3 format, shattering my expectations and leading me to ignore them for several years. And as someone who can't sit still, rides a bike, can't write while people are talking and doesn't work out, I couldn't figure out when I'd be able to devote an hour here and there to just sitting and listening. Who do you think I am, Tony Dow?

Then some buddies started one and my friends started talking about various "poddies" and since none of us watch the Simpsons anymore, I needed to start listening in order to be able to talk to them about things. And so here I am. Podcast listener, teeth glistener, name not Christopher, merry Christmas.

HAROLD POTTER AND HIS MISSING BEANS OUT 2078

MOVIE REVIEW - Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

I love Harry Potter as much as the next cool adult, but Half-Blood Prince was probably my least favourite out of all the books, so going into the film adaptation I wanted chocolate cake but was expecting crackers and ginger beer.


I give full winks to the way the film looked - the special effects were extra special and the whole thing looked dark without being too dark - kind of like Nine Inch Nails.

The acting was just fine, with the core cast doing a great job at conveying awkward teen romance while being wizards. I think I've said it before, but I think Radcliffe, Grint and Watson are great little actors and seemingly better human beings, which can't really be said of the American scrotes who live in Hollywood and who believe they're more important than technology itself. Yeah right! Do they even know what kind of an impact Twitter is having? Laughable.

The main reason I'm not giving this picture an "A+" along with a stellar parent-teacher interview that goes way past its allotted time because both parties couldn't stop praising the child, is because the story just isn't that good. I remember finishing the book and thinking most of it was spent preparing the reader for the ending. Nothing else really happened. The same thing happened in the adapted screen version and will probably happen again the in book based on the film based on the book, which doesn't exist yet, but maybe will in the future because everything just seems to get sillier around here on Earth, right?

This weekend myself and friends take our annual trip to my friend Scott's family cottage, or "Scottage" for Canadian summer fun. Last summer it rained cats and piss all weekend so our good time wasn't 100%. If that happens again this year I'm going to flip my lid.