ICE CREAM CROHN'S

Congratulations to Linger Dalhoploff! He earns the title of BEEF BEAST this month after successfully solving the Steak Enigma during Sunday's Beef Blast. You can pick up your scepter at Thursday's Au Jus social held this week at Wings, Things, and Fries restaurant.

With that we come to the real news of the day, which is that I just purchased a brand new copy of EA Sports' NHL 11. You know what's funny about life besides pubes? When you're a kid you base your entire year around school, your birthday, Christmas and summer vacation. Once you become smart enough to not go to school anymore, and humble enough to give, rather than receive, your calendar changes drastically, along with your body and preference of chocolate bar. When September strikes nowadays, I don't think about school, but rather hockey video games. If you were to go back and read posts from the last couple of years, this would become evident, along with the fact that I've been consistently producing the world's top website on all things Glenn Macaulay.

If you read this consistently, you'll find that year to year my life remains kind of similar:

January - I party with my friends on New Year's
February - I complain a whole lot about weather
March - I complain a whole lot about weather
April - My birthday
May - I complain a whole lot about weather
June - I complain a whole lot about weather
July - I get out of town as much as possible
August - I get out of town as much as possible
September - Buy NHL
October - Figure out Halloween costume
November - I complain a whole lot about weather
December - Christmas

(I promise this will be the last time I list months and talk about them.... UNTIL NEXT MONTH AHAHAHAHAppyGilmorEHEHEHEHEHEHE)

Just follow this template if you wish to become the next me, and this time maybe be more aggressive with networking, because networking is a go-getter's AK-47 and confidence and drive are the bullets and power lunches are the cool leather strap, right?

Don't worry though real me, the first three quarters of 2010 have shown high returns on fun and memorable experiences, while stomach discomfort and waves of blahs have decreased substantially. I eat tomatoes again!

PHONE UPDATE

See this jpeg image? It's me. In my office. TAKEN ON MY PHONE. I know, I know, "Ancient Feature", but I've slowly learned to appreciate the phone I so callously described as "dog shit". I guess it's still shitty, but I finally got a data plan and can now surf the web from any toilet in the world.

Let's review - do you think I should've named all the above months the silly names I used last week? I was going to, but I don't think enough of you read this consistently, and the last thing I want to do is confuse you....

"In two months I'll be ready to bear a child"