THE RIGHT OF WEY

If you're having trouble insulting people these days because you feel that most common insults are passe, try my new insult generator. This was inspired by two things, the first being one of my favourite books of all time, Beavis and Butthead's "This Book Sucks", which included a delightful band name generator game. The second is my own feature "Graffiti of the Future" where I introduced the world to new slang terms that you should expect to see by the time cars run on human waste. All you have to do is pick one italic from each category, starting with A) and you have yourself an original burn to try out at this year's Christmas party that's bound to turn smiles into puke.

A) Hey you...

Tube
Dip
Bit
Coat
Map
Leek
Screw
Fork
Smoke
Trunk
Smear
Note
Tape
Dana
Wheel

B) Why don't you...

Snip
Sniff
Cheer
Trap
Dock
Churn
Sweat
Nip
Pinch
Mock
Chuck
Snare
Mop
Write
Smoke
Split
Sip
Dip
Smear
Blog

C) a...

Girl
Swear
Plate
Tub
Clot
Weed
Boot
Oak
Book
Leak
Church
Nude
Nap
Pud
Tree
Rod
Chunk
Knob

You can interchange sections A) and C) and even some from B). Like I have no problem calling a guy a Trap if he's acting like a real Dock, you know? I included "Smear" in two categories because it's my word of the year. If you're big date is coming up, I'd recommend breaking it out, because 2010 is dwindling down FAST and most girls are looking to lock up an engagement before their parents pester them during the holidays. So if your waiter is being a smear, let him have it, don't hold back.