WE HAVE A DECENT UNIVERSE

Here we go guys, another day of ruling the world as humans. What will you do today to assert your dominance? I've already chased three pigeons and ate Captain Crunch cereal. The only food a rooster ever invents is its own shit. When we make up new cereals we're basically playing God, so we really shouldn't get too upset about stem cell research and abortion. If you're going to protest all that you might as well protest gummi bears as well.

"If you have to do research it means you don't know anything"
- Glenn

Last night I "worked" with LIFE OF A CRAPHEAD again. I put "work" in quotations because it makes it look like the word has wings. Fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle, let my mommy carry me. We did a show with these's and I got to meet Dan Deacon, who was very funny along with the cast, many of whom looked like people I know from Canada, our home, a big land. What a crazy world! In the show I played a half Medusa, half man in bathrobe whose house was on fire, and if the pictures ever reach the public domain I'll put them up so you can complete your sticker books.

Half my face looked like her 100% face

"Treat your feet like you treat your own mother"
- Glenn

I haven't talked about my stomach in awhile. Rest easy party dudes, lately I've been drinking beer no problem. At this time last year I couldn't drink that sweet shit unless I was armed with a bottle of Pepto, a stomach full of potatoes, and no worries, because unfortunately, worries make us poo our pants and throw up sometimes. WEIRD. Anyway, I'm not totally cured, I still wake up every morning and burp like crazy. Some doctors would diagnose this as a case of being hilarious if you enjoy the sound of burps as much as I do. Others may call it Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Your choice!

"It's a damn shame Choclair never got big in the States"
- Glenn

And lets up heap praise toward Pat Thornton who raised over eleven thousand buckerdoos to comabt AIDS in Africa by doing stand-up for 24 hours straight. I was there for the first few hours and helped write jokes about popular topics like Luba Goy, marmalade, a six year old named Tristan, Rap Grimace and Kevin Sorbo. Here's Pat:



I've never even come close to raising that much money for anything. Once I won a prize when I was in Cubs for having the best basket at Apple Day, where you go door to door selling apples. I won because my basket said 'Thank You". Since then, I've wrote "Thank You" on everything I own, and even though I haven't won a prize for it since, I probably get more high fives per annum than most.