LAND LINES AREN'T BLAND, GUYS

The Christmas countdown has officially started at my house! The cats have been released, the hog is in the kiln and due to a strategically placed piece of holly, I'll have the pleasure of kissin' my mailman for 30 straight days.

Before I delve into telling you stuff that doesn't matter to Third World countries, I want to plug some things that may matter to Third World countries depending on their likes and dislikes.

Last Friday I attended my buddy Egan's comic book launch party. Go over here and do what you do on websites. You know, click around, discover some links, read some material, and hell, if you like what you read you can even bookmark the damn thing! I've worked with Egan for five years and have followed the progress of this piece of "lart" the whole time, so I'm very happy for him and the process has inspired me to write my own graphic novel about the fascinating and oft times vile world of windsurfing. As a nod to the man who inspired me, the comic will be called "Egan Steven" because the main guy Egan always wants to get even with this other windsurfer named Steven who keeps getting all the waves....and the girls.

Four great bands played the launch party and I'd like to highlight one of them, BLOOD CEREMONY, whose guitar Sean player I also work with. God must've liked my musk when he was handin' out co-workers, eh? I can't say enough good things about the man himself and the band he controls. Seriously, go see and/or buy all their stuff before music becomes illegal.

STOCK TIPS

I came across this press release yesterday and at first it just seemed like a run-of-the-mill quarterly report, until this part jumped out at me: "The Company is very fortunate to have three new and highly experienced directors join our Board - Lord Howard of Lympne, Robert (Bob) Wigley and Beer Van Straten." INVEST, INVEST!!! I would trust this board with all my money as well as my body. Here's how I picture them:

LORD HOWARD OF LYMPNE

Cunning. Chivalrous. Rich. Good cook. No man in the realm can make claim to these traits but one Lord Howard. Pictured is the good lady Gina meeting his Lordship in the lobby of HQ. They were off to the Keg.

Robert (Bob) Wigley

The inscrutable Robert (Bob) Wigley, is a former spy for the Team of Terror Dudes, an evil organization hellbent on producing the world's scariest buildings. He agreed to switch sides when Lord Howard held a blade to his throat during the takeover of Bosworth Energy Ltd. So long as he continues to use his powers for good, the world shall remain safe and company shall remain profitable and LEED certified.

Beer Van Straten

And here's the glue the holds the whole raft together, the man they call "Beer". Here he is during one of the company's famous impromptu drum circles. Right after this shot was taken, the drum exploded and doves flew out. Wigley was spotted with his orb behind a nearby fern.