HEY RED BARON, EAT CLOUDS!

I've been very busy lately tending to my pastures and watching the new Global Reality Channel, featuring some of your all-time faves - Survivor, Fear Factor, and even Snot Swap.

MID SUMMER REPORT CARD
The mind of a man created this

Is this even the middle of summer? What day is it? Who are you? I'm Glenn, a real guy from the well-planned roads of Toronto. This summer has been one hot mother fucker. My now deep black skin glistens like the Internet in January and I've eaten so many Creamsicles that Popsicle Pete is shaking in his frosty panties because he's scared he's going to run out I guess. The hot sun has drawn out a maximum amount of skin-baring babes like the cool round moon brings out werewolves and astro-dweebs. With that in mind, the summer already achieves an Eh Plus (OH CANADA, OUR HOME ON NATIVE LAND).

Maybe an A+ is a bit overboard, because I haven't played nearly as much tennis as I had planned to and I still think I should lay in grassy fields more. Also, I haven't been berry pickin' once! My mom used to take us all the time, but now that I'm an urban cosmopolitan yuppie type, I generally turn my nose up at leaving the confides of downtown to go bend over in the mud for a few hours. Just joking, I simply haven't the desire.



I think this rules?

What can we expect to see in Q2 summer 2010?

A new style of lady bathing wear that combines the sleek lines of a one-piece, with added flippers, a built in hood with goggle, and a thonged buttock.

LeBron James will take his talents to the Culinary Institute of America where he'll do some lovely things with tomatoes

Kids addicted to video games will finally go outside and get way into swings.

Waterworld

S'mores will replace roast beef on Sundays

This entry took me so damn long. My favourite part is the link to Tom Morello. What's yours this time?

GLENN
"Summer of 69s"