HONKY TONK TANK TOP

For the last, oh I don't know, 46 years, I've been having this recurring dream where I'm in school and there's these two or three classes that I never go to and the dream always involves me worrying that I'm too far behind. Finally, last night, amongst dreams of unsuccessfully making small talk with John Cusack, I think I may have reached the conclusion of the school saga.

In last night's episode the school year was almost ending and I again realized that I hadn't been to these few classes since the beginning of the year, only this time I loosened up and said to myself "who cares? I don't need a science credit! My career can still prosper". Hopefully this is a sign that in real life I WILL meet John Cusack and that I'll finally be able to accept that I never graduated high school. April fools, not only did I graduate but I did so with a 79 average. I feel like 79 is pretty much my average in all of life. The problem with those who ended up getting high grades like nutty nines, is that they scored very low in "skipping school and eating bagels", meaning they haven't really lived.

The other night I wanted a bowl of cereal, but not a whole bowl so I just filled my mouth with Corn Pops and then drank some milk. I felt so good about this afterward that I thought to myself, "this is something I may teach my kids".

I haven't been writing in this window much lately because I've been too wound up in beach parties and pineapple socials. It all sounds glamorous, but the reality is that for some people, managing high season fun can be difficult. Take me for example (obviously):

Age: 28
Sex: Male. yes please! Austin Powers 1
Hair: Brown and thin
Head: child 8-12

Analyze the data with a cold drink and hang out.


Don't worry if you didn't get it, who cares if you're stupid. Anyway, the problem for me is that I pretty much need to wear a hat in the sun or else my scalp with get scorched. I have enough hair that I can't sunscreen my head or else my hair will get greasy and I can't have that because I'm a Soc through and through. What about my perfect eyes? I'd like to protect them with glasses, but since I always have to wear a hat and since my head is so small, it's hard to fit so many things in such a tiny surface. I can make it work, but it's kind of uncomfortable and by the time I get it all on, the only pieces of face I get to show off is a bit of cheek and my mouth, which is my WORST feature!

My cousin used to always say, "a picture is worth a thousand dollars" so the Canada Day weekend is best summed up with this photo of my friend taken by my friend (and friend's girlfriend), Rachael at the place where us friends got together to eat and stay: