YOU NEVER HEAR ABOUT THE KNIGHTS WITH RUSTY ARMOUR

If you're Mr. Popular or Mrs. Babe, you probably have a whole forest full of friends on Social Networking sites. Most of these people you barely know, but even strangers have birthdays, so when it comes time for the Facebook to alert you of some guy's birthverssary, it's common courtesy to send a well wish. Much like meeting your father's murderer, it's a hard to find the exact words to use when expressing yourself in this situation because there are many factors involved, like whether or not daddy deserved it. To save you time, and I guess money if you're spending all day writing birthday greetings instead of working your paper route, I've prepared a guide you can use next time that guy your cousin knows has a birthday.

I think this is actually applicable

STANDARD

The safest bet is to issue a simple, Happy Birthday __ (name)____ !
Notice that both the "H" and "B" are capitalized, with an exclamation point following the person's name, indicating excitement, or sarcasm if you're greeting that dickhead who stole your Pearl Jam CD in grade 7. You know, the guy with the lizard he never fed? Without the capitalization and the exclamation point, your greeting will come across as rushed and lackadaisical. If your friend is a sci-fi fan, try adding a question mark instead.

CUSTOM

Customs generally start with a STANDARD but are then taken "to the next level" with an inside reference or nonsensical jest.

Happy Birthday __ (name)____ ! I hope Doug gets you a new bra!! xoxo.
Happy Birthday __ (name)____ ! Or should I say BraThday??!!!

Bras are a great present for your favourite girlfriend or girl who is a friend, because a lot of girls don't bother buying them on their own dime. This is especially true for single gals who date often and need a few fancies in their 'drobe to impress a man once they get half nude at snog time. Animal prints and vivid colours are popular choices, but you can also play around with style as well (strapless, see through, padded etc.). Where's the best place to get them? If price is an issue, look up "Outlet Malls" in your browser's Google. Popular, yet generally expensive boutiques such as LaSenza and Bran's Bras offer discounted apparel at these outlets and while you're there maybe pick up a pair of shoes or that rotisserie that your wife told you was too expensive.