I'M SO STUPID I THINK LEATHER COMES FROM TREES

Fearing another wasted weekend day, I woke up this morning, tied up my pants, waxed my nose, grabbed my girl by the hair and was off to the AGO to check out King Tut on his last day in town. It was a pretty good experience because I love ancient things, but it was a bit crowded and everyone was moving slow.

Here are some thoughts on Egypt:

Every time you see something about Egypt and the Pharaohs, it's always very mysterious and mystical and there's all this spine tingling music and statements like "the Egyptians were a mysterious and mystical people". I bet if you went back in time though, you'd find them all pretty silly. The music that plays in your head would be more like Yakety Sax. People praying to cats, people not knowing what the sun is, people who don't even know about outer space, people who think farts are sacred... the list goes on. The only trouble is that murder wasn't as bad back then because they had way more excuses, so you would probably get killed pretty quick because you talk different and you keep asking dumb questions. Your murderer would get away scot-free because he'd just say he did it because Anubis came to him in a dream, dreams being the most trusted source of knowledge back then as well as legal tender.


I also think that the Ancient Egyptians didn't have a lot of fun. They spent their lives having kids, praying, and carving things all damn day. The only fun they ever had was probably swimming and maybe playing games that we'd think are total shit. But that's not their fault, and I'm sure they still knew how to party, except instead of music and DJs they'd get the best and most sacred cats together and just listen to the purs and meows while drinking alcoholic mud drinks and smoking old fur.

We got some grilled cheese at the Grilled Cheese after, and I was disappointed to find out that they had no soup on today. You guys don't even know how much I love soup. That's half the reason I even wanted to go the damn place. Anyway, the grilled cheese was good but didn't really make my ears flap all that much. I gotta have soup with my grilled cheese. It was like going to Hooters and having a boy serve you, am I right hetero males?