DON'T CLAP FOR THE WOLFMAN OR HE'LL SEE US

A poem for St. Patrick

Oh you green man, your day is here

When lasses and lads drink purple beer

Haha, you're smart, you caught my lie
Now let's all eat some apple pie

What's that? No pie? Not today?
I don't think I get this holiday

This is the one where people chew
And give small gifts to their nephew

They swat at bees and swim all day
While sisters bake their cassoulets

We all wear ties, even the misses
And each give our legs 100 kisses

Don't give me that look you stupid shit
This is St. Patrick's Day, isn't it?

I guess my parents lied to me
Cause we celebrate with pies and bees

Green beer, dumb hats and leprechauns?
I think I'll pass and head to Don's

My dad and me will kiss some legs
And eat St. Patrick's Easter Eggs

And I can't wait until Christmas Day
When we eat a bear and pretend we're gay