BRONCO FABULOUS

Last week my friend Pat told me that humans have the craziest dreams the night after going to bed drunk. I'm always unsure of this kind of schoolyard science, but last night I had some very crazy, vivid dreams, so I'll never question anything Pat tells me ever again, unless he tries telling me something about the Monkees because I know everything about them. Did you know that Michael Nesmith's mother invented White Out?

There was one good dream where I was on this Alice in Wonderland experience thing with some other people, two of which were babes in leotards, who I think were modeled after the babes in regular clothes I saw on the streetcar that same night. Then I kept dreaming of waking up, turning on the lights, but having them not work. I guess this means that I like hot sexy girls and I don't like it when the lights don't work.

Here are some good celebrity jokes:

Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson were spotted out on a date recently. This makes sense as both are famous for their pumpkins.

Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson were spotted out on a date recently. Corgan was tough to spot at first because photographers mistook his bald head for one of Simpson's huge boobs.

Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson were spotted out on a date recently.


How many Tiger Woods does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick question. Tiger Woods only screws cocktail waitresses. Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff that was stunky.

Those were for all the old guys out there.

Earlier today I thought I might be manic depressive but I think it's just that I don't like my job. Then after work I was like "BIIIIIFFFFFF" and I didn't want to do anything even though I have a bunch of stuff to do, but then I just started doing it and it wasn't that bad. Unlike eating pizza, starting is the hardest part.

This one won't make the hall of fame, but should provide you with enough to think about so you can stop thinking about that dead dog of yours.