VIAGARA CIALIS BIG POLE HOT LADY BIKINI LADIES GROWTH SPURT HOT DEALZ

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The name is Hines Steam, X-Box 360 gamertag Epcot_Sinner here to hack this peanut blog. That's what us webbies call blogs that are dumb, emotionless and a total waste of time. Since the Internet I use for X-Box Live is down at the moment and the contact cement on my A-Wing model hasn't dried yet, I thought I'd use my other Internet to do some hacking. I also have to kill time until the Friday the 13th virus I made called "The Council of Elrond" hits travelocity.ca and fucks up so many travel plans that you can just call me Hurricane Steam from now on. No, wait, call me "Balrog".

I also manage a wiki on Star Wars ASCII and have won the blue ribbon three years running that the Annual Star Wars Celebration art-off. Gregor McLaughlin will tell you he started Star Wars ASCII, but don't listen to him, he's a fraud, a douche, a butt and I heard he picks his zits with rifle from a G.I. JOE Duke figurine. I use thumbtacks because they're more sanitary. Anyway, if you've ever seen the following...

|-o-| TIE Fighter
<-Oo-> TIE bomber
<-o-> Darth Vader's custom TIE

...you can thank yours truly. I invented those and many more including Luke's original lightsaber and a really good GONK droid, which I'd draw here but it would take 4 hours and who knows if the FBI is already tracing my IP for this hack. Shit, it's happened before. I was at the McDonald's after I successfully disrupted priceline.com for 6 INSANE minutes and this guy tapped me on the shoulder and said "Is your name Bill?" and I said "what's it to you dopey?" and he left me alone. Must have been the Feds. Had I not been so cool to him I'd be in a cell on Alcatraz doing 50 to life for cyber terrorism.

While I have your attention, I might as well bring something to your attention. ATTENTION - Why don't you girls give a care about a guy like me? I'm smart, I have two Internets, I have three dogs, I have every next gen console plus several classics including the elusive and very expensive Panasonic 3DO. I'm also hilarious as evidenced by my well-received 6,988 comments on the imdb including a hilarious thread about my favourite quotes from Grandma's Boy, which is pretty much perfection. If you don't believe me we can go on a date to my house and watch it while we eat my homemade chili and my dad's homemade beer, which I get for free whenever I want by the way.

This is pretty much what I look like

Check me out on Twitter, Facebook, X-Box Live, the Playstation Network, Flickr, MySpace, Blogger, LinkdIn or in my hometown of..... YEAH RIGHT IDIOT, as if I'd tell you that LOLXX (laughing out loud double extreme). But if you add me on Facebook you'll find out. Keep in mind I only accept friend requests from girls and techies with a net presence, so all you other buttholes can frig off to the Mushroom Kingdom for all I care.