This week I was confident to break the cycle, but unfortunately I completed the trilogy and for the third straight week, tossed all over the place and probably didn't get snoozed until 4ish.
Every one of these instances is accompanied by a song or songs that become lodged in my head at some point during the day. Last week it was the Sopranos theme song and this week it was Tommy Tutone's "867-5309/Jenny" and KISS' "Nothin' to Lose" -- not so bad! I try to keep my mind occupied without thinking of the actual act of sleeping, and I know I'm in trouble when I have to resort to imagining nothing but hot ladies -- it never works in putting me to sleep, but like a chocolate cake diet, it's fun pretending it does.
This time around I thought I was seriously screwed and I wouldn't be able to sleep at all, which has happened to me twice before. At around 3:00 am I decided to read to see if that would work so I grabbed the Artie Lange book about him being fat, dumb and funny. It was pretty much my last resort and it didn't work so I began rehearsing my phone call to work to explain that I wouldn't be able to come in because I didn't get enough pillow time.
I believe the turning point came when I switched positions into a stomach-side formation that I've been tinkering with lately. I hesitate to use it because Liv says I sometimes stop breathing when I do it -- what an adventure!
I went to the Days Inn and urged a Filipino woman to demonstrate, and she was more than happy to as long as I bought her an Eat-More bar and some Corn Nuts. She didn't use her left arm right, so I gave her some mud in a Ziploc bag and hazelnuts and she couldn't tell the difference.
I fell asleep and woke up to a shitty alarm and made some eggs. I knew I was tired when I started making classic sleepy mistakes, like trying to put bread in the toaster but totally missing the slot and trying to ride a cat to work instead of my bike. That last one isn't true, but in the future it'll be as commonplace as rollerblades and ham and cheese on rye.NEXT WEEK SOLUTION
The only solution I can think of is drugs. The front-runner is Neo Citran, the delicious lemon drink that reminds me of frigid Sunday nights in Mississauga, watching Beachcombers and not blowing my nose because I wasn't into that. Other than that I don't really have any bright ideas. If there were a movie I'd write symphony during these sleepless nights and not remember doing it and then in the end an influential mentor will finally convince me to show it to the public and it'll be called "Sleepless in Seattle".
Posts
13 comments:
The trick is to STOP worrying and tell yourself that "it just doesn't matter". The more you worry about not sleeping the worse it will get!! Try repeating the word "float" or visualize calm lakes and drifting canoes-hey I think I'd better go lie down, I'm feeling sleepy-ZZZZ.
I'm betting 'Anonymous' is mom.
I say either wake-up early on Monday so by the end of the day you're beat, or just sit and play a videogame/watch TV on DVD for a while before bed. I sleep (or mid-afternoon nap) like a baby after a long stretch of game.
Planet Earth is also great for passing out, though that can probably be attributed to soothing British voices.
Off-topic:
http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/07/vacation-franchise-reboot/
Thoughts? Pretty dependent on who's going to star, but thought I'd ask anyways since I'd call you a Vacation connaisseur.
Stop trying!
Thanks for the advice guys. The whole "trying" thing I was attempting to explain in the part about picturing girls. I was too tired to explain that properly.
I like this "float" idea but I've tried things like counting to 100 back and forth and as soon as I start dozing I'm like, "cool! It's working" and then it doesn't work.
Scott - I don't like the idea at all UNLESS Anthony Michael Hall OR Jason Lively reprise a Rusty and the movie is rated a full 'R'
Hey Glenn - it's your favorite doctor, other than your own. I'm certainly not one to dole out advice based on personal success, as this same thing happened to me this week.
The textbooks will tell you to set up a good sleep environment - no reading or TV in bed. Try to keep as regular a bedtime as you can. Also, your body develops tolerance to the drug in Neocitran really quickly, so I would avoid it.
The trick that always works for me is working a 26 hour shift. You will sleep like a heroin fetus the next day.
Thanks Doc! I always forget to consult your expertise. And you are my favourite, even though Dr. Eng totally rules.
Is the 'Scott' up above Turner?
Because if its not its creepy that he knows my no fail sleep aid: Planet earth...soothes the soul.
Anyhoo, I am a classic insomniac, so much that my doctorb perscribed me some heavy sleep pills...have some in the ol medicine cabinet if you want to borrow one...I dont take them because I found the joys of liquid calcium!
Seriously guy;
2 heaping tablespoons full before bed and its snoozetown with sleep doggy dogg.
Which rules considering I have struggled with bad insomnia since age 18
Speirs
No that's my brother scott. I don't think I want to try sleep pills yet for fear of future reliance. It's really only one day a week. Maybe I'll just get drunk.
Yeah I dont touch them either. It came with my sweet narcotics package I got when I got surgery last spring.
my mom (commenter 1) just offered me some of her stuff. I declined. the old man's rye will put me to snooze city
5-htp works wonders. you can buy bottles of these adorable little pills at your grocery store in the vitamin aisle and if you take one before you sleep you'll sleep like a 2000 lb baby and have wonderfully vivid dreams to boot. you can also take them intermittently throughout the day and they won't knock you out. magic!
I'm interested in this!
i like nytol, but you wake up a little groggy.
Post a Comment