PITCHFORKS LOVE HALLOWEEN AS MUCH AS PUMPKINS, KIDS AND FISHNETS

I'm so tired right now, you could pinch my nips and kiss my neck and I'd just say something like "it feels like there's a ghost up in here". Here's some quick medical advice for Friday. After I finish this I'm going to sleep so hard that my pillow is going to piss everywhere.

I've realized that I eat too fast, meaning my chew count is extremely low. I read somewhere that a human should chew like 31-40 times per bite, while my average sits at around 4 or 5. This could explain why my esophagus has felt so stressed lately, a symptom I'm thinking of sharing with my licensed physician next week. So my advice is to you is to start chewing more, and we can all enjoy the benefits of proper digestion and a smooooooth esophagus.

Final reminder to come to Comedy Bar on Saturday night for Jet Fighter Pilots present the USOhhhhhhh yeahhh show. Come and see why I've been so cranky lately, with the premiere of low-budget action TV pilot, TOP GUN NIGHTS. Until then......