NEW MOVIE - 'ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DORK?' - ABOUT YOUNG LOVE ON CAMPUS

I'm not going to talk about Thanksgiving until Monday, so everyone who showed up looking for turkey talk and gravy gab will have to wait until then. There are pressing matters that need to be discussed:

Sarah Palin's daughter's baby's father is going nude for Playgirl!

My immediate reaction to this news was -- "this just made a silly situation even sillier and a dumb guy even dumber", kind of like when OJ Simpson got arrested last year. But the more I thought about it, the more I started to respect his decision. Let's look a the pros and cons:

Pro:

This guy is so dumb he'd probably eventually end up naked on the Internet anyway, so he might as well make a few clams while he has the chance.

Con:

His already questionable legacy as the teenage father to Sarah Palin's grandson is further soiled, as most people don't tend to respect teenage fathers who get floppy in front of the camera for middle-aged women trying to have some fun before menopause.

Pro:

Teenagers grow up really fast these days and they're having sex before they learn long division. Levi Johnston posing nude is the modern equivalent of Bobby Darin giving a few winks at the sock hop. What us adults view as a disgusting cash grab on Mr. Johnston's part, teenage girls view as a reasonable opportunity to get a few dong peaks in before they hit the mall to find new g-strings.

Con:

When girls fell in love with Zac Efron, teenage guys everywhere flocked to their mom's salons to get their own "Sweepy Zac" hairdo to attract the opposite sex. I'm scared that these pictures may spur a nude man trend if word gets around the schoolyard that the girls are falling in love with Levi and his Johnston.

Pro:

P.T. Anderson's Boogie Nights and Milton Berle taught the world that a wiener can make a guy's career. If this guy's wing wong is reasonably good, then perhaps other career doors will open, such as porn star, male escort, stripper or underwear model. Plus, slutty girls everywhere won't have to play the guessing game if they have a rendezvous with the guy and can dig right in knowing exactly what to expect.

Con:

If his rod isn't great, then everything's screwed. Also, he is now primed for lifelong ridicule from the male population. Luckily the guy lives in Alaska, so it probably won't be bad.

CONCLUSION???

I'm siding with "PRO" on this one. According to Wikipedia, the guy wants to be an electrician or something, so as long as he stays in Alaska after this, sticks to his trade and doesn't try to be a celebrity I completely support his decision. Oh! And big PRO - Sarah Palin must be sooooo pissed. Her reaction must have been so funny. Either that or she was like "OHHHHHHH babay! I've been trying to see that young buck's eel for a long time, and now I can NO PROBLEM. AHAHAHA, what a country!"

WEEKEND CHALLENGE

Instead of hugging your loved ones this Thanksgiving weekend, give them a hair sniff and neck lick instead and just see what happens. If it gets weird they'll forgive you because no one wants to be mad during the holidays.