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October 29, 2009

'LUMPY' IS ONLY GOOD IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A FUNNY GUY

I finally started utilizing Toronto's PATH system, which is basically an underground mall maze (with a million food courts) for tourists and business people that connects all sorts of skyscrapers, making it a bomber man's dream house. Since my place of business is just south of Union Station, and my residence is almost next to city hall, the PATH provides a dry passage way from just about door to door. My first couple of attempts I got really lost and hot because I was bundled up like a farter on a hot date and I didn't bring a map with me, assuming that the "PATH" was just that -- a simple path. But alas weary traveller, there be twists and turns about! There's this one section that's under construction and the ceiling looks like it's from the set of a sci-fi movie, so you're walking and staring up, thinking about protons, galactroits and techno music, then you bump into a dick in a suit, he says "get outta here, I got a lunch with the big boss and I forgot my cigars" and you're back to reality. That didn't happen, but neither did Forrest Gump and people still enjoy him.

WARDROBE UPDATE/BOURGEOIS PROBLEM OF THE DAY

I won some money at work by being vigilant and I made some money off our Jet Fighter Pilots show, so I'm thinking about buying a new winter coat, as new cars are too expensive and I don't collect hockey cards anymore. I've had my current shell for about 4 years now, and it's great except for two things -- the zipper is broken and the jacket's colour is the same as my current default shoes. I could get the zipper fixed and go about my business being colour coordinated in dark, military green, or I could use my new found wealth to buy a new one. How often do you guys buy jackets? I was raised with the philosophy that you shouldn't buy a new something if the old something still has something, so my gut is telling me 'no' while my reproductive organs are yelling 'yeah'.

"In my hand I hold the key to the secrets of winter. I'll show you if you come to the chalet with my for cider and nuts"

And finally, some questions you can raise at your next job interview:

Do you think that when you're a regular godparent, like one who isn't Catholic and who doesn't really care all that much, you breathe a sigh of relief when your godchild turns 18 and your duties are pretty much void? I bet some do, especially those who have dinkies as godchildren. I remember asking my mom who my Godparents were and she said it was one of my aunts and for a split second I was like "cool! I'd get to live with my cousins", but then I came back to my senses.

ENDING

I was trying to upload TOP GUN NIGHTS to public cyberspace, but I've been having some problems, so I'll try again tomorrow and maybe it'll be a nice Friday treat along with the news that you won something in a contest you forgot you entered. <----there's a feeling I'd love to have on a snowy day!

7 comments:

Highwaisted said...

get a new coat. it's necessary every 2 years. every season if you're rolling in it.

and my brother is the GPS of the 'PATH'. I can only get from maybe richmond to queen and even then i get lost at least 4 times.

Duke of Spook said...

I got my root down now, but if I were to try any other root I'd be hot and lost again for sure

Anonymous said...

ROUTE mr. proofreader!

Anonymous said...

Did you purposely spell "route" wrong, Duke? I think you should buy a coat, preferably tartan.

Duke of Spook said...

I just love the Beastie Boys

cara said...

firstly, i totally think you should keep your winter coat and just replace the zipper. i have a fall coat and a winter one, both are super old, one needs a new zipper but the other one just got a new zipper last year and it's good as new. it doesn't cost that much to replace and it's worth it if you truly love the coat. i've had my fall coat for a good 6 yrs now and it's still working out.

secondly, path is SO HOT and SO CONFUSING so i wish you good luck with it. i've tried probably 6 or 7 times when i'm bored after work to navigate my way from union station to eaton centre in the path, and it has NEVER worked! i always have to come up to the surface to figure out where i am. and once when i did that it was in the middle of the tamil protests and i was the only caucasian in the crowd.

scott said...

You should get a new coat. Solely because it's almost exactly like mine and it makes me feel weird if we do something together in the winter and are walking around in near matching outfits.

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