DIMES ARE THE CUTEST AND NICKELS ARE THE ANNOYING IDIOT DOWN THE STREET

INSIDE THE SAUSAGE FACTORY

or

The last couple of weeks I've had a tougher time than usual coming up with real life stories and thought-provoking essays to fill the annals of this thing called blog. Since I decided to write in here every day I've come up with different ways to fill the space when I have nothing to say, which I'm sure comes across sometimes, especially when I re-post old Internet journal entries from eight years ago and then commentate on how I have the same clothes as I did then.

Anyway, I find the best way to get over not having anything to say is to talk about having nothing to say, which is where we find ourselves right now.

See that? I used up so much space. But really, I think the best way to think of things to write is to just think of anything and then write about it. So like if I chose a word like "cactus" I'd just have to write about my experiences with cacti throughout the years and my opinion on them.

I don't want to talk about those prickly green assholes though, I want to talk about eBay.

PERSONAL SHOPPING TRENDS

Sponsored by Bick's - "We're the tastiest goddamn pickled cucumber you ever stuffed in your hole"

Every year around this time I'm supposed to start thinking about things I should be buying for others, but I usually end up buying a bunch of stuff for myself, which could explain why I've been trolling eBay the last few days looking for vintage sportswear.

I really like old tennis styles from the 80's and early nineties like this guy but haven't found any real winners, partly because I'm scared of sizing issues. I've won at least three things from eBay that have been way too small for me, ignoring the listed size because the item was too good to pass up. But it's stupid because now I have an unwearable Hartford Whalers sweatshirt and Don Mattingly t-shirt that I guess I'll save for my cool son named Gator down the road. My friends and I adopted the thrift store philosophy that if you find something good you buy it no matter what because there's bound to be someone you know who will fit into it, which is probably the kindest philosophy my friends and I have -- much better than the "fart if you got 'em" mantra.

I also really like old jerseys and jackets, and my current infactuation is with a Starter jacket from the nineties that I saw an old guy wearing last week. It was an NHL coat, with the old logo and the old colours and as a fan of the NHL in general, I like the idea of sporting a garment that reflects love of the league and not a particular team. So if you're in the thrift district scarfing cotton candy and you see one of these babies, pick it up for me and I'll gladly lick your sticky, pink fingers in return.