Today is Christmas Day and I'm at home typing and laughing and hugging and talking!
This year I asked for practical things like tools and blenders instead of toys, stereos and computer robot lcd plasmas because I like making blended soups and I like pretending to work on my bike with tools. I figured I'd get these things no problem because they're easy buys, but alas I got a Yoda cork board tapestry, some Empire Strikes Back juice glasses and a Finland hockey sweater.
I'm very happy with these things, which brings me to holiday lesson number one: Aim low and receive high. Now I can just go buy a blender idiots! I think it's good to get stuff you wouldn't otherwise buy for yourself. I probably wouldn't buy a framed Gordie Howe portrait for myself but mommy came through and now I'm the King Tut of stuff that dudes like when they come over.
My girlfriend got me some Iron Maiden shoes. Imagine I got into a fight with a guy who likes bad music and I throw him to the ground and kick him with Iron Maiden shoes? That'd be like Winston Churchill kicking Hitler with Union Jack booties. So don't fight me if you like stupid things because I'll kick you in the name of epic, history-rich, demon-infused heavy metal. But I don't get into fights because I have Christmas spirit all year 'round guys! I'm like those dumb stores that sell cinnamon candles, pine branches and nouveau Santas. The kind your mom wants to go to and you go in only because you think there might be some old fashioned candy sticks or homemade root beers but it turns out to be a Christmas-all-the-time store and you wonder why it's open in July. Then you complain to your mom and she feels bad so she buys you fries and she admits that it's a stupid store but wanted to look for a present for her teacher friend and that dinner will be ready at 5:30.
The only bad thing about today is that I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I thought I was going to barf around 11:00 am but I didn't. So I took it easy and played a cool game called "Reindeer Dandies" where you draw a reindeer and pass the picture around and everyone adds an accessory. Ours had two hats!
For a richer gravy, add a generous amount of Lea and Perrins and don't forget the pepper. New Years is around the corner, lets meet around 10.
December 25, 2007
December 11, 2007
LOST NOT THE SHOW THE THING
I've lost some things over the last little while. Being someone that doesn't generally lose things, I'm fairly upset dudes!
Here is what I've lost:
1) A well-worn black hooded sweatshirt. Brand: Discus Athletics. I didn’t think this was a very cool brand until I saw some guy in the DJ Kool video for “Let Me Clear My Throat” wearing a shirt emblazoned with the logo. After this I started putting on rap shows at the Rec Centre under the name "MC $tapeler Man". I had a party anthem called "Throw Your Face In The Boobs Next To You" that went over really well mostly because it sampled the Growing Pains theme song.
2) A Pittsburgh Penguins Kevin Stevens shirt. My friend Neil gave me this shirt and even though it was clearly made in the early nineties it seemed brand new. It fit like good underpants and I liked its graphics.
3) A MacBook remote. I’ve convinced myself that someone stole it because it’s never left my room and I looked all over. Of the three this item has the least amount of sentimental value so you know, whatever, it was small anyway.
My friend Jon and I went to Bun King to get free cookies from Neil once when we were in high school and on the way home we dropped a gingerbread man on the floor of the van. It disappeared! We couldn't find it at all! Does that happen?
GREAT MOMENTS IN “FOUND”
In grade two our whole school did this thing where we each put a note in a helium balloon and then we all went to the soccer field and let them go. The idea was that someone would find the note and write us back. I was the only one who got a response and I had to read the letter the lady sent over the PA. She was from Eastern Ontario. COOL!!!!!!!!!
My cousin and I once found our thought-to-be-dead cat behind my dishwasher when we were watching jet ski racing in my kitchen one day. She was dirty and hungry and we celebrated the find with double Big Macs. For an 11 year old that’s like eating lobster after a hole-in-one with the big boss.
So if you find my stuff I’d like it back. I’ll treat you to a beautiful winter picnic in the park featuring delicacies of the season: Rice pudding, rhubarb, bacon, cauliflower and a selection of hot teas. You can bring one friend! Until then, keep your pants tied and your hats up. If you need me I’m here.
Here is what I've lost:
1) A well-worn black hooded sweatshirt. Brand: Discus Athletics. I didn’t think this was a very cool brand until I saw some guy in the DJ Kool video for “Let Me Clear My Throat” wearing a shirt emblazoned with the logo. After this I started putting on rap shows at the Rec Centre under the name "MC $tapeler Man". I had a party anthem called "Throw Your Face In The Boobs Next To You" that went over really well mostly because it sampled the Growing Pains theme song.
2) A Pittsburgh Penguins Kevin Stevens shirt. My friend Neil gave me this shirt and even though it was clearly made in the early nineties it seemed brand new. It fit like good underpants and I liked its graphics.
3) A MacBook remote. I’ve convinced myself that someone stole it because it’s never left my room and I looked all over. Of the three this item has the least amount of sentimental value so you know, whatever, it was small anyway.
My friend Jon and I went to Bun King to get free cookies from Neil once when we were in high school and on the way home we dropped a gingerbread man on the floor of the van. It disappeared! We couldn't find it at all! Does that happen?
GREAT MOMENTS IN “FOUND”
In grade two our whole school did this thing where we each put a note in a helium balloon and then we all went to the soccer field and let them go. The idea was that someone would find the note and write us back. I was the only one who got a response and I had to read the letter the lady sent over the PA. She was from Eastern Ontario. COOL!!!!!!!!!
My cousin and I once found our thought-to-be-dead cat behind my dishwasher when we were watching jet ski racing in my kitchen one day. She was dirty and hungry and we celebrated the find with double Big Macs. For an 11 year old that’s like eating lobster after a hole-in-one with the big boss.
So if you find my stuff I’d like it back. I’ll treat you to a beautiful winter picnic in the park featuring delicacies of the season: Rice pudding, rhubarb, bacon, cauliflower and a selection of hot teas. You can bring one friend! Until then, keep your pants tied and your hats up. If you need me I’m here.
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