LOST NOT THE SHOW THE THING

I've lost some things over the last little while. Being someone that doesn't generally lose things, I'm fairly upset dudes!

Here is what I've lost:

1) A well-worn black hooded sweatshirt. Brand: Discus Athletics. I didn’t think this was a very cool brand until I saw some guy in the DJ Kool video for “Let Me Clear My Throat” wearing a shirt emblazoned with the logo. After this I started putting on rap shows at the Rec Centre under the name "MC $tapeler Man". I had a party anthem called "Throw Your Face In The Boobs Next To You" that went over really well mostly because it sampled the Growing Pains theme song.

2) A Pittsburgh Penguins Kevin Stevens shirt. My friend Neil gave me this shirt and even though it was clearly made in the early nineties it seemed brand new. It fit like good underpants and I liked its graphics.

3) A MacBook remote. I’ve convinced myself that someone stole it because it’s never left my room and I looked all over. Of the three this item has the least amount of sentimental value so you know, whatever, it was small anyway.

My friend Jon and I went to Bun King to get free cookies from Neil once when we were in high school and on the way home we dropped a gingerbread man on the floor of the van. It disappeared! We couldn't find it at all! Does that happen?

GREAT MOMENTS IN “FOUND”

In grade two our whole school did this thing where we each put a note in a helium balloon and then we all went to the soccer field and let them go. The idea was that someone would find the note and write us back. I was the only one who got a response and I had to read the letter the lady sent over the PA. She was from Eastern Ontario. COOL!!!!!!!!!

My cousin and I once found our thought-to-be-dead cat behind my dishwasher when we were watching jet ski racing in my kitchen one day. She was dirty and hungry and we celebrated the find with double Big Macs. For an 11 year old that’s like eating lobster after a hole-in-one with the big boss.

So if you find my stuff I’d like it back. I’ll treat you to a beautiful winter picnic in the park featuring delicacies of the season: Rice pudding, rhubarb, bacon, cauliflower and a selection of hot teas. You can bring one friend! Until then, keep your pants tied and your hats up. If you need me I’m here.