LET'S GET REAL HERE GUYS

If you've been a loyal follower of this web page since the beginning you'll know the following:

• I don't like department stores
• I like movies
• I write in book sometimes
• I can bench 450

I've decided that you need to know more about me because as any scientist will tell you, "The more you know about a man, the better. The more you know about a woman, the better. The more you know about kids? Get outta here!"

That was a science joke and if you don't get it, shut up go back to google.com. Just joking, you can stay.

So lets get personal. Since about January, I've been casually looking for a new job. If my superiors at my current job are reading, don't worry, I love you all and I have nothing against the company, its policies, its location or its carpets. It's just that sometimes a man of 26 needs a change.

Because I don't know what I want to do, I decided to scope out places that I like, mainly television and media companies. It's now May and I really haven't had any luck, as I'm still at the job I usually have. So basically I really hope I win the upcoming Heart and Stroke Lottery 1 million dollar grand prize so I can quit and get a boat. Just kidding, but finding a job is big-time frustration, not unlike trying to find a mate: it's tough and time-consuming and sometimes you think nothing's ever going go your way. Then something does and you're alright and you tell your past self to ease up and stop being a dick. And job interviews are like dates, and bosses are like... the girl's best friend who's a real bitch and keeps telling the girl, "I don't know about this guy. I've known you since grade 2 and like, I know you. Get rid of him. Seriously. Want to go get some salads? I hate these jeans. I want a new cell phone." I should write a self-help book called The Job and the Girl - Tips on both and how to dominate your life. The picture on the cover would have me in an office with a slutty secretary on one arm and holding the book in the other. Then it's like one of those cool things where the cover of the book is on the cover of the book then that cover is on the cover and it's like a vortex and it rules.

So like I was saying, I do get bummed sometimes when I start thinking that I'm in a bit of a rut, but then I think that there's tons of people like me and that I have some pretty cool stuff at home like guitars, computers, hats and comic books so I get happy again. I could describe my job search in more detail but you'd probably have a better time tying your shoes than reading about me looking at websites and sending resumes and poorly conceived cover letters.

This is probably going to be as personal as I get, and in retrospect it wasn't very personal at all. I was going to tell about an interview I went to, but nothing really interesting happened, except the fact that I'm probably not going to get the job. Even that isn't very interesting. Shit. But trust me, if I get married, or if I get a horrible disease I'll probably share it, but until then get ready for more of the same. I'm now accepting story ideas, so if you want to know something about me, leave a comment and if I think you're a nice person, the question will be answered. The segment will be called, The Spice Rack - Different Flavours from Different Neighbours. I don't care if you don't like the title, because my dad always told me to go with your first instinct.

Watch the following video before you go to bed and hope that it somehow makes it into your dreams!