STOP DROP AND CHEW

Time for a Pup-date!

Little Spiro got into the corn again and after a scolding from his owner, Barry, Spiro said "I'M SOWY BAYWY" and all was forgiven until Spiro got caught eating belts five minutes later. Barry had no choice but to trade Spiro for those baseball cards he always wanted and the card shop finally got a mascot worthy of replacing the now retired "Big Jerk".

Time for an update!

I went to the Scottage on the weekend for some meat and lake. If you ever find yourself at the Scottage, here's what you need to do to have a cool time:

Once you get there, put on Tarzan Boy and take off your shirt because Tarzan Boy never even wore a shirt.





Old guys and mayors always say "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" and in the morning we felt like flattering Christopher Wallace so we imitated his favourite meal: T-Bone Steak, Cheese, Eggs and Welch's Grape at the inaugural hip hop brunch. In an effort to stop the violence within the hip hop community, we also gave a nod to Tupac Shakur by mixing up the drink he invented, Thug Passion. Unfortunately, we're smart enough not to waste our wages on Cristal, so we used Spumante Bambino instead, which kind of sounds like it could be a Wu Tang song.

"Thug Passion"
(feat. Dramacydal, Storm, Jewell)

[Intro: 2Pac]

Aight, new drink
one part alize one part Cristal
Thugs Passion baby
y'all know what time it is

As you're waiting for the sun to come up, you might as well shoot promo pics for the sitcom you're producing. In this case we brought over the cast of "Ay Ay Captain?" and had celebrity photographer Will.I.Am come by. You'll be seeing the above image in next week's People.

Then you get into a big tube with four other half naked dudes and let the afternoon melt away, while the ladies sit ashore and get horny beyond words.

When night falls, you're probably going to want to party like this. Here's the Jersey Shore's The Situation, J-Wow and Flappy fist pumping a song they like.

Teamwork wins championships. In this case we enlisted the help of party legend Scott Butler, who is pictured above ready to cook a bacon explosion for the whole squad.



Next time I'll tell you the best place to barf at the zoo and what to do if you find yourself on the set of a major motion picture starring Nancy Travis.