The last time we spoke, Osama bin Laden was like a unicorn -- no one knew where he was and America wanted to kill him. Meanwhile, Barack Obama had gone from being "The Prince of Tides", to the "Queen of the Desert" because he lacks the ability to make Americans happy every day of their lives. Only clowns and and bald cats know how to do that. Anyway, that all changed on May 1st when Obama killed Osama using a team of commandos led by a guy named Admiral McRaven. Now Obama is "The King Of Queens" while bin Laden's death becomes the most celebrated since the demise of Orbitz alternative beverage at the hands of reasonable humans everywhere.
Looking at the numbers, it took America 10 years, billions of dollars and a whole bunch of brave boys and goys to catch the man Time Magazine called a "Shithead mondo supreme". This makes me worried that if a super villain ever showed up, the world would have to spend AT LEAST that much stuff to get him or her. ORRRRR maybe bin Laden did have superpowers but it didn't get out because one of his superpowers is convincing people he doesn't have superpowers. That would be shitty for him because of all the things he would want to convince people of, not having superpowers wouldn't be very high on the list. I think I'd want one of those powers where you can throw up money.
As if that news wasn't enough to get your hair crispy, Canada had an election last night and Stephen Harper won the majority.
PROS
We won't need to update Canada's Wikipedia page
At the annual U.N. awards gala we'll win the staring contest and baby frightening no problem
Possibly better corn?
Good to see vampires represented at the Federal level
CONS.
(hahaha?)
Would you rather shoot a puppy or french kiss your own baby?
If you answer the former you're a serial killer and if you answer the latter you're probably a heck of an angler!
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