Welcome to "Hollywood Movie Pitch Minute" where we give screenwriters the chance to pitch their scripts to Hollywood executives. Thanks to the Internet, Hollywood executives will probably see this because this is on the Internet and they're all so rich that they all have the Internet. If not for Hollywood Movie Pitch Minute the public might have never seen Gerby Productions' underappreciated VHS tape Shovels for Jamie. Okay boys your minute starts now, pitch away!
Adam & Eve Vs. Cavemen & Dinosaurs
Tagline -- In the battle for rocks and meat, there are no winners, only champions...
Dream Cast
Tom Hardy as Caveman Donf
Jennifer Lawrence as Cavewoman Barp
Andy Serkis as Dinosaur Bib Boib
Andrew Garfield as Adam
Elizabeth Olsen as Eve
Ted Danson as Christian God
William H. Macy as Caveman Lord
and Martin Short as the Story Teller
"They're dumb, but strong"
- Adam (Andrew Garfield) after first encounter Cavemen
The United States in America is currently a nation deeply divided. There are those religious traditionalists who believe the Earth was actually created by God with a snap of the fingers and wink of the eye. Then there are the so-called intellectuals who have synthesized years of human study to surmise the Earth began in space and that humans were created low and slow. But what if they were both right?
The screenwriting duo of Theo Spores and Fernando (Come Scream With Me, Ding Dong! It's You, @rmy W@rs) attempt to answer this question in their new script Adam & Eve Vs. Cavemen & Dinosaurs.
When Adam and Eve decide to take a vacation for a couple of weeks (pre-snake) leaving their paradise and nest made of old birds, they stumble upon a primitive society of neanderthals and their domestic dinos. Adam goes to take a shower under a waterfall leaving Eve alone to be hunted by the cavemen's greatest warrior and sexiest chef, Donf. It's a lot like Dances with Wolves for awhile over at caveman HQ. Meanwhile, Adam begins to enjoy the new single life and learns how to ride cheetahs. But then he falls off one and is taken in by the beautiful cavewoman Barp, who also happens to be Donf's fourth girlfriend!
With action you'd call "just right", humour that's pretty good and a love story instead of too much drama, Adam & Eve Vs. Cavemen & Dinosaurs is sure to garner critical praise and box office success. Please buy this script and let's have some fun, shall we?
Here are some promotional images our friend whipped up:
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1 comment:
"created by God with a snap of the fingers and wink of the eye."
Picturing Ted Danson doing this really sells it.
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