THIRD WORLD NAP

If you watch TV you've probably seen commercials for a website called Lumosity.com that promises to make you smarter by having you play simple little games. The only problem? You probably have to pay for it. In the good old days you could make yourself smarter in more natural ways. My grandfather didn't go to school after grade 2 and he managed to provide for his family and run a successful business that had something to do with asbestos. How did he do it? By trying to talk to dogs all day, chewing tobacco and counting dames at the bus depot. Since you're on your computer all day I figure you don't have time for dog conversations and dame countin' so I've created a series of little problems to help you get the best out of your brain FOR FREE.

*Answer Key Below*

Guess the Math

Math is the language of the universe so if you don't know it and you get abducted by aliens, you won't be able to tell them to relax, nor will you be able to order the food you want while on board.

1) If an "8" looks like an infinity snake, then what does "63" look like?

2) I'm thinking of a number between 6 and 95. It rhymes with Nifty Poo.

3) Solve for x where x = 46 + Your Birthday - The Distance Between Your Favourite Cat's Eyes

Pick the Right Shape

As babies, shapes are the first thing we learn besides how to be cute!

4) What shape would you use to burn a CD?

5) Who invented the square?

6) Which one is the gay triangle - obtuse triangle or right triangle?

7) If a man were to trade seven rectangles for a handful of rhombi, how many circles would he have to add to make it a fair deal?


Logic Quiz

We need logic so we don't make bad decisions. Before I learned logic I would bring a TV and VCR into the movie theatre and try to set it up because I didn't know what the heck was going on.

8) Darryl and Cindy are driving to New York City from Hamilton, Ontario. If they stop for gas 6 times and eat 4 Filet 'O Fish combos each along the way, how long did it take them to get there and why doesn't Cindy ever wear dresses?

9) To be or not be? Be, but don't not be unless you are in which case do but don't not are in case you aren't. Who am I?

10) You wake up and you're trapped under some ice on Lake Little Noose. You search frantically for a hole in the the ice and just before you run out of air your mom wakes you up and you realize it was all just a dream. Then your mom says there's some Cow Bread for breakfast. What is cow bread?

Cool Down

By now your brain should be shimmering with kinetic energy and that stuff they add to Gatorade to make it  a powerful drink.  

Answer Key 

1) A fat old bear and a witch hugging
2) Fifty Roo
3) x = Your dream man
4) Prism
5) Joseph, the famous dad
6) They're both pretty wild
7) I forget
8) It took them about 12 hours and Cindy doesn't feel feminine even though Darryl is a really great and supportive boyfriend
9) Rob Thomas
10) Meatloaf of course!