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July 21, 2008

THAT SHIT SONG

Today was a bad day man. Not bad like sad but just full of downs not ups. Not even huge downs really. Lately I've been trying hard not to take my relatively simple and tragedy-free life for granted, so if you're reading this in a war zone or something, you've been warned that what constitutes a bad day for me probably isn't that bad in the grand scheme of thingies.

In retrospect, the day started off pretty good. An area of my gums has been irritated for the last week and a half, ever since I saw Hellboy 2 and had a piece of popcorn stuck in my teeth for the whole movie. I thought I'd got it all out the day of, but today I removed a large shard. Needless to say, my gums have improved. So thumbs up to that. I felt like that lion who gets that mouse to take the thorn out of his face in that totally fake story that parents tell you so you don't turn racist.

My next move before work was to ride over to a local walk-in clinic so I could get another tube of prescription butt cream (no joke guy). I estimated this would take about 20 minutes based on the proximity of the clinic, my history with wait times at other walk-in clinics and the fact that all I needed to do was convince the doctor to write me a prescription to cure my butt. She didn't have to check me out or anything. I know my butt sucks.

I get there and sign in and there's maybe 3 or 4 people ahead of me. Not too bad. But I soon realized that this particular walk-in clinic is a pile of garbage and that all patients who enter spend an average of 20 minutes in the examination room. Couple that with the fact that there seemed to only be one doctor on duty, and you've got a shitty boring wait in an office with no magazines or televisions.

Then this babe with HUGE BOOBS enters and somehow her name gets called before myself and the two people that were before me! Normally I'd equate this to the fact that the girl had HUGE BOOBS but the office was run by women by no means seemed gay, although who I am to know right? Even still. Not fair.

So I was in the office for an hour and I knew that because I was in there for so long I wouldn't have time to eat anything before I went to work so I got even madder. At my breaking point I finally got in there and convinced the doctor to make with the cream. At one point she said "Well I won't need to examine you, so that's good", implying that I was lucky. SHE'S the lucky one. It's my butt. What do I care? You're the one that's going in.

I rushed home, took a shower and went to work.

Later on in the day I found out that the landlord who owns the house I'm close to renting is crazy and wants me and my girlfriend to fix the deck and all this other stupid stuff and he hasn't even decided if we'll be the ones who get the place.

Then right after I found out I'm not getting this job that I was in the running for.

So in one day I got really mad, might've lost an apartment and lost a job. On the bright side of things, my butt will be better and my gums are back to normal. Once I was really mad after work one day and I was passing the Air Canada Centre after a Neil Young concert and I was riding next to a tour bus and I had a fantasy that Neil would think I was cool just by watching me ride my bike and that he'd stop the bus and invite me in for a jam session and a couple of beers. Had that happened today I would've pooed.

Time for chips!

2 comments:

dj_sports said...

On the bright side of things, but butt will be better"

what's but butt?

is that the name of your butt?

Duke of Spook said...

You're a but butt

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