ANOTHER STINKER

Here's another bit that I wrote a while ago that never made it to the stage. You can blame the bureaucracy that is the sketch group "The Polecats". My material has always been abrasive, and the group knew that when they started working with me. They just ended up wasting my time and effort, but you know what? No regrets. I'll always remember those rare good times: Sipping brandy under the palm trees in Key West with Erin after killing at Ron's Comedy Lounge and Bait Store; Throwing out the first pitch at the Cubs game in front of 2.9 million people; Winning the tag team championship with Brendan live on WCW's Monday Nitro in 1998 against Harlem Heat; Eating spaghetti and meatballs with Scott and Andy on the 98th floor of the Empire State building after we went to the Snooker Expo at what used to be the world famous CBGB's.

I think I'll call this stupid bit "NEW EMAIL ADDRESS". Please enjoy, and if you like what you read and are a millionaire, please give me some money.


Glenn – I got it. I got it. It was so obvious but I found one

2 – Found what?

Glenn - A new email address. I got one

2 – What is it?

G – Glenn Macaulay at gmail .com

2 – Big deal

G- Big deal? Big Deal?!

2 – Yeah big deal

G- Big Deal?!

2 – It seems obvious don't you think?

G – Big Deal?! Next time you experience a life-altering event, don't expect any excitement, wonder or jubilation from me

Phone Rings

2- Hello? Yeah. What?! Ohhhhhhhh yeah!!!!

G – What?

(2 shoos him away to listen)

2 – Uh huh. Yeah. Perfect! Yes. I won! I won. Jumpin' Jesus, I won.

G- uh huh

2- I've won a trip around the world!

G – (pretending he didn't hear what 2 said) I cut my toe nails today

2 – It's me plus one! 6 months! Expenses paid baby!

G – I put some tea on earlier. Oh yeah. You don't like tea. Nevermind

2 – So? You wanna be my plus one?


G – (struggling) yyyernnnnnnnerIummm

2 – Lets Put this email thing behind us and let’s go on this trip. You’re being stupid

G – (Boiling mad) Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (slaps guy and runs away) I’m gonna ruin your little trip fucker

6 weeks later in Egypt

2 – Oh man, the great pyramid! Oh look at that another email on my blackberry. “Fuck off”. From Glenn dot macaulay at gmail dot com.

AHHAHAHAHAHAH oh man, that ending came out of NOWHERE!!! Brilliant stuff, brilliant stuff. You can really see why the conservative pinheads in The Polecats didn't accept it. I'm just glad that I'm rid of those pukes. This stuff DESERVES an audience and thanks to you, the loyal reader, I'm finally getting the recognition I've been looking for.

When the pools open for the summer I'll be there.