A GLIMPSE INTO A BOOK PART 1

Remember back when I was in University and someone published the journals of Kurt Cobain? Thanks to Christmas I own it, and because I enjoyed it so much I thought I'd share it here. But since that would violate several copyright laws and be dumb and boring, I decided to start my own "Journals" project. The following pages come from a book my friend Jon gave me in December 2002. Inscribed in the front cover is a passge from Jon that reads, "Ideas, drawings and general sparks of brilliance that come to me most likely from outer space and would otherwise be forgotten", which pretty much sums up what I've used it for over the last six years. The pages I've chosen to show all fall into the "brilliant" category FOR SURE. I don't use this book any longer because it's a piece of shit and it's falling apart. So here we go - Part 1 of what I call Dude Life - The Journals of Glenn William Macaulay.

(Click on image to enlarge)

These two pages were written on sometime during my time at McMaster University. Let's start with the left side.

Right away you'll notice several t-shirt designs. I seem to remember that was something I'd do in class if I was bored. None of these designs made into stores, although upon reflection some of them are reminiscent to the hats that fat guy on 30 Rock wears, so I'll just go ahead and take credit for that, okay? I still kind of like the "Grapes" one and I suppose having a shirt that says "Durable Winter Jacket" may garner a chuckle, but all-in-all most of the ideas in this book never went anywhere and are pretty dumb. BUUUUUUUT, if you look at the other stuff on this page, you'll come to find that I used this book for more than just jokes and drawings.

The phone number listed there is for a sperm donor. I remember writing the number down because someone had put an ad somewhere saying they were looking for donors and that the pay $CASH$. Because I didn't have a job this seemed like it was a good idea. Luckily for me, our student newspaper ran an article about donating around the same time, saying it wasn't as easy as it sounded. I forget why, but it wasn't anything gross like they put pins in your weiner to see how good your sperm is.

Under the t-shirts are some ideas I had for Halloween costumes: NHL referee Kerry Fraser, "Beard" (??) and Jim Henson. I remember almost doing Jim Henson but I couldn't find a muppet to use. For those of you who are gross and pictured weiner pins or something in the previous paragraph, can now proceed to imagine the last sentence as some chick telling her friend about the night she almost banged Jim Henson:


The night it almost went down. Two chicks are hammered after a night of hard partying:

"Yo so did you do it?"

"Well we were in the bedroom and he took off his vest and we were all ready to go and I said, 'do you have a condom?' and he goes 'you mean a muppet?' And I was like 'what?'"

"Weird"


They pass out.

Then the next day when they wake up

"We were soooooo drunk last night! Remember partying with Jim Henson and Dudley Moore? I kissed Dudley, but I can't remember...did you sleep with Henson?"

"I remember almost doing Jim Henson but I couldn't find a muppet to use."


There you go guys, full circle, just like a dumb game show from 1989 that would be called "FULL CIRCLE" hosted by Tino Monte:




The next page has a couple of sketch ideas and also a quick style report I complied one day while at school. Some guy had a Public Enemy scarf and this other guy who was really weird had this strange jacket and the brand was "Scotch and Soda" which I found really funny at the time. Why would I need to remember a guy with a PE scarf? So I can tell you guys about it. MISSION COMPLETE. We've gone FULL CIRCLE. "Our next guest is from Kitchener Ontario and works as a stone mason. Please welcome Bilf Crunt! Come up here Bilf and see if you can go FULL CIRCLE. The prizes today are a chair, a trip to Panama and a 32 inch televsion set."

Stayed tuned in the coming days for more Journals. After that I make share some recipes and maybe talk about my favourite lakes and rivers.