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October 5, 2010

LIVING THE LIVE MY CAT ALWAYS WANTED

THANK YOUR GOD OR YOUR MOTHER THAT YOU'RE HUMAN TODAY

Hi Toronto, it's me again, and yeah, it's raining, it's cold, summer 2011 is as far away as it's going to get, but hey, we're human! Raise one of our innovative, non-natural beverages, and lets celebrate!



Chances are you haven't won the lottery. Even if you have, you probably just have a garage full of jet skis, a bunch of friends you don't want and a few cases of Teddy Grahams. Stop for a second and think like human leader Socrates -- you've already won the lottery -- you're a human!

There are millions of species here on Earth and only one is smart. Us. You could've been a worm or worse yet, a delicious mountain goat. You're privy to things, thoughts and stuff that ALL other animals around here can't even begin to comprehend. Next time you're bored just look at windows for goodness sake! They're a see-through, semi insulating, noise reducing forcefield and even our dumbest and poorest get to enjoy them whenever they want. The closest thing animals have to a simple window is the ocean, and we own that too. We don't even care that we can't breath in the water, we just have as much fun as we can in and around it. The water's beaches also gives our most attractive citizens the chance to show off the most ultimate bodies on the planet. Sharks, eagles, bears and gorillas have pretty smokin' bods, but to the point where only our weirdest and most perverted would take one over a homo sapien.

Don't be glum. Be smart like the human you are. Invent a new meal or build a fort. We build forts for shits and giggles, not for survival. Think you're tough wolves? Nice house.

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