I WANT A FRIEND WITH THE NICKNAME "GUMBO"

Good Halloween, huh guys? I went to Comedy Bar dressed as Brooklyn's own Peter Criss, jazz-style drummer of popular rock band KISS. This year I didn't have a big idea, so I thought I'd give the cat man a spin. He's not as flamboyant as Paul Stanley, not as idiotic as Gene Simmons and his makeup is easier than Ace Frehley's. Plus I just like cats, you know? Allow me to tell the story of the night with illustrations.

Most kids start off Halloween by carving pumpkins. Adult males on the other hand carve into Italian sandwiches. I didn't have one, which was a bad idea.

Post sandwich, the men transformed into Freddie Mercury, Turd Ferguson and Sam "Mayday" Malone respectively. I think these guys would have really got along had they met in real life.

Megan and Mark played The Undertaker and his manager Paul Bearer or as we called them as kids the Undies Taker and Paul Bearer. That urn they found is 100% accurate.

Here are some friends who enjoy Halloween.

With all the wrestlers around, a match ensued, featuring Andre the Giant and the Hulkster refereed by Inspector Gadget while a safari man and Sulu look on.

I haven't seen this movie, but apparently Speirs and Scott made convincing Eagle vs. Sharks.

Lacy played South Park's General Disarray. Tin Foil is found in 68% of Halloween costumes and 100% of kitchens in North America.

Andy's Ric Flair costume was impeccable from wig to boots. Cat lady moustache chest agrees.

Sarah wowed the crowd with an accurate Shawn Michaels circa 1992 Survivor Series.

DK showed up in this fab Papa Smurf. He said the key was the professional makeup he purchased.

The problem with wearing white makeup on your face is that it makes your teeth look extra yellow. When you wear yellow makeup it makes your teeth look red.

Liv was Enid from Ghost World, which sounds scary and Halloween appropriate, but is really about a bunch of people who think they're better than you.

The costume contest was tight, but Lisa Simpson's Floreda outfit took the prize, much to the dismay of the Nature Boy.

The wrestlers pose. Ric Flair, Nikolai Volkov, Iron Sheik, Brutus Beefcake, Undertaker, Andre the Giant, Paul Bearer and the Heartbreak Kid.

The "Zuke of Zanzibar" singing his hair off.


Halloween costumes -- it's all about finding the shit. You gotta have a plan, and execute it. Anyway, I was very impressed with the costumes this year and it was a real great Halloween party until I thought I lost my phone and got instantly bummed, severing the vibe. Turns out I left it on the coffee table of the house that sandwiches were eaten at. I usually do a three point pocket check whenever I go anywhere - keys, phone, wallet. Since I had my camera with me, I thought I had point 2 the whole time and then when I realized I didn't have it I malfunctioned.

Next big holiday is Christmas, the day where everyone gets new stuff. What are you asking for this year? If you don't have slippers, this should be the year you get into them. Trust me, slippers are a classic, affordable luxury that should be utilized.