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February 10, 2010

HAIR TODAY, GOON TOMORROW

In Howie Mandel's Bobby's World, a cartoon about a frog-voiced kid who loved mischief but wasn't a dick like Dennis the Menace, most of the plot was driven by Bobby's misunderstanding of the adult world. I think so anyway, I haven't seen that show in forever.



Anyway, recently some childhood memories surfaced that reminded of the kind of misunderstandings that Bobby had and because tomorrow is the opening of the Olympics, I thought I'd share them with you.

First, my mom used to always go to meetings at church for some reason. Maybe she was in a ball hockey league or she was part of an elite team that was trying to solve a DaVinci code. Whatever it was, it doesn't matter. Whenever she'd announce to us that she was off to a "meeting" I always pictured a bunch of ladies getting together and eating meatloaf because I figured that's what a "meating" was. I think if she had of been more specific I would've learned quicker, but since there was never any elaboration I was perfectly fine with thinking meetings were always about meat.

That story was worthy of OWL Magazine!

Okay, memory number two: When I was a kid my parents owned shares in this garbage restaurant called "O'Toole's". Perhaps you remember it? My mom says my dad bought some gold shares and they somehow turned into O'Toole's shares, which was probably the result of Irish black magic (O'Voodoo? Oh man, brutal japes today guys). Anyway, whenever my mom and dad would go over to O'Toole's to meet with shareholders or whatever I'd be like "Wait, where are you going?" and they'd be like, "we're going to O'Toole's, we own shares there". Now being a peanut-brained, undeveloped child, I figured they meant they owned "chairs" at O'Toole's and that they were going to have a sit and an adult drink. I was wrong. I never went to O'Toole's and saw the truth. I also never went to the Keg because my parent's said it was a restaurant for adults.

This logo says "fun", "sports", and "terrible" all in one

The only other really dumb thing I can remember is drinking soap in my grandparent's basement. It was in a dish soap bottle in my grandpa's workshop and I'd been eying its delicious looking pink essence for some time. One day I decided to finally see if it tasted as good as it looked and was surprised to find that the pink stuff in the soap bottle was soap.

Oh yeah, and when my mom asked me if I needed to know anything about the birds of the bees I said "If dad can do it, I can". Awwwwwwwww just like dad!

This was a fairly self-centered post, but like I said up there, the Olympics are mere hours away!

I bet this game isn't very good

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Those "meetings" were probably sunday school meetings (I don't recall going to very many-are you sure you're not thinking of bagpipe practice?)Ah yes, the days when we owned a "chair" leg of one O'toole's restaurant.I didn't know you drank pink soap. I'm glad you've learned the difference between soap and other liquids now and I didn't even teach you!

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