February 1, 2010


Stephen King's Under the Dome

Over the weekend I took it upon myself to finish eye kissing Stephen King's latest, a real fat tub of lard called "Under the Dome".

I thoroughly enjoyed the bulk of the tome's 1074 pages about a small town in Maine that gets trapped in a cyber-bubble in mid-October. October? Is the whole thing an elaborate Halloween prank by a scientist who lives in a rival town? No. In fact, there aren't very many scientists in this book at all.

Most of the book concerns a former army man turned cook named Dale Barbara who I imagined being played by Josh Brolin because their names have the same amount of syllables. Barbara clashes with this fat guy who runs the town and there's all sorts of killing and worry and crying and for most of the book you're like "oooooooooooooo I hate this guy", the same kind of excitement I used to feel watching Essence of Emeril.

The book is a lot like The Stand in many ways so lets talk about the two a bit in a classic "comparison". I felt The Stand starting losing its zip after you find out the old ghost lady isn't even a ghost but just an old lady who's really nice and is kind of psychic. Under the Dome is a lot like The Stand in many ways, but luckily it only starts sputtering in the last hundred pages or so. The ending wasn't nearly as satisfying as I hoped it would be, but it wasn't terrible either, so I didn't throw the book in the toilet the way my dad did when he read the first draft of my autobiography.

I think that's enough King for now. I enjoyed my Steinbeck phase a little more. King makes me scared and Steinbeck makes me want to sit under a tree in a dusty field, chewin' straw and drinkin' corn whiskey.

Give this book at spin next time you're in your eccentric neighbour's library or suggest it at your next book club meeting along with the idea of serving bagel chips. Baked not fried. Tastes like a bagel. Snack with bagels.

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