September 27, 2010


Film Review


Like most people, I went into much hyped buzz machine Catfish thinking I was about to see Blair With Project meets the Matrix meets Jaws. Instead, I saw what felt like an after school special from the year 1999 about people on the Internet not being who they say they are.

The film's marketing campaign instructs you to make sure NOT to find out what this movie is about before you see it. This is wrong information. The only reason they did this was to trick teens and me into seeing it. And like, what the hell? How can they get away with this? It's like telling people "buy my book, but don't find out what it's about. Trust me, it's sick." and then you buy it and it's just a bunch of stories about a red wagon that gets passed down through generations, told through the eyes of the wagon itself and then in the end the wagon is a metaphor.

I would've liked it much more had I known what it was about because my expectations would have been met. When I was a kid I was happy if a movie had adventure or Paul Hogan. Nowadays, I like a movie if it meets or exceeds expectations and hate it if it doesn't, no matter how many nipples are in it. Admittedly, it isn't fair to hate a film if it's totally my fault for imagining it to be something it's not, but I have a wild imagination and I know what I want in life (all you can eat fries, movies with wizards). That's why Catfish is such a dickhead!

If you're like me and want to see a movie about magic and thrills, then Catfish is not for you. If you're a sap who has never watched Dateline and doesn't know that most of the stuff on the Internet is fake and find pretty boy romantic types pretty, then go see Catfish. And there is no actual catfish in the movie. This guy just mentions them at the end in some analogy. It would be kind of a nice part if not for the fact that I expected the "catfish" in Catfish to be a codeword to a treasure barge, sort of like the movie Swordfish but with a treasure barge, or like the main guy is murdered and his body is found in a catfish pond and it seems like the catfish know something.

In conclusion, I can't wait for Jackass 3D.

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