FOUL OWL BY THE CREATOR OF DOONESBURY

Marriage doesn't really mean as much as it did back when women needed 24/7 protection from bears and horn dog lumberjacks. I don't feel much pressure to tie the knot because bears are extinct and most lumberjacks are gay.

Plus, who wants to get married? I've seen every episode of Home Improvement and no matter how much marriage advice Tim gained from Wilson, Jill stayed a bitch, Al's wife dies I think and Home Improvement sucks.

I think that was a suitable introduction to this quarter's WIFE NEWS

A 51 year old actor who had minor roles on LOST and The Green Mile, got married to a 16 year old aspiring country singer in Las Vegas. If the guy got a new, younger dick before the wedding it would make this whole thing okay? I wouldn't care if my hypothetical 16 year old son were to marry a 50 year old so long as her vagina wasn't older than 20. Tits don't matter but I doubt a young man would want a pair of old gum drops, you know?

In Indonesia, a group of Muslims have formed an "Obedient Wives Club" where the belief is that wives should cater to their husbands every whim and ensure sexual satisfaction. Around here, we call that "Texas" ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I've never even been to Texas. How about, "The first rule of Obedient Wives Club? I don't know, ask my damn wife".

Hugh Hefner's bride-to-be, Crystal Harris, decided she didn't want to marry him after all. He must've kept that old dick of his.