AMERICA'S SKINNIEST BABY

I was at the laundromat the other day, minding my own God-given business, enjoying a good read while the washer cleaned all the pickle stains out of my slacks when I noticed that ALL the dryers were taken. By default, this would make any red-blooded cool dude scream "ah shit" in his head while remaining silent and stoic on the outside, but there was only one other person there doing laundry.

THIS DAMN LADY

took up all 8 or so dryers -- towels (2) in one, what looked like 3 hankerchiefs in another, etc. etc. so I was extra piffed. I can understand the science behind separating colours and dainties during the wash cycle even though I'm a pretty standard "sexies in one machine, corduroy in the another" type of guy, but when it comes to drying, all clothes are created equal. And if you are crazy enough to separate your drying, do it in the comfort of your own laundromat.

Anyway, to end this story, while this huge Latvian(?) woman was out doing something non-laundry related I removed her two towels from a machine that could hold at least fifty towels and half a tux, and loaded my full arsenal in. She didn't care.

THEN an Asian lady dropped some panties right in front of me, and in the instant I realized it was the toughest moral decision in my life: do I pick them up and be the nice guy? Or do I leave them and be the reasonable guy? Obvisously if this lady were a Kathy Ireland type with the breasts of a teenaged Soleil Moon-Frye I would have picked them up immediately and said "The name's Klein. Calvin Klein. I made you these".

Today's garbage day on the Internet. Here's some trash you can sort through before R@s and RAMcoons get at it: