SUPERHERO PROFILE
As part of a partnership with Marvell Comics, WIDAHIA brings you the first in a series of Superhero profiles meant to increase awareness of a new roster of superheroes engineered for the fresh millennium.
MR. ELEVATOR
Real Name - Chad Dunk
Height - 6 foot 4 and nothing more
Weight - Not bad
Hometown - The fictional town of Toilet, Manitoba
Hair Colour - Caucasian Brown
Eye Colour - Dreamboat Brown
Superhero Team - The Dunce Craps (Captain Everything wants to change it but The Improviser still thinks it's funny)
Super Power - He can fly straight up or straight down. Obviously he can't go straight down if he's standing on the ground but he did teach himself to crouch lower than most people. He also tries to have all his showdowns take place on quicksand or over a large body of water, which is why he looks like this while on duty:
For Christmas he wants a KitchenAid stand mixer.
Can you even imagine?
I had a villain in mind but I forgot. Let's see if we can search the memory bank and figure it out:
MEMORY BANK ACCESS
111000100010010010111001001001001110100000101010101010
....access granted
Mr. Elevator's Villlain
- Elevator goes up and down so his nemesis has to be able to combat it
- Maybe a guy who goes side to side? Dr. Horizontal? Boring?
- What's the opposite of an elevator? Escalator? No, they're cousins.People mover!
The People Mover
Not only can he fly from side to side, but he also love inspiration poetry and has a reggae band also called People Mover. Their first album? People Mover.
♫ Move my People, People I Move
Island Sound, Zion Groove
Fly left, fly right, only get high widda spliff at night ♫
Mr. Elevator tries to arrange all their battles at the airport to even the playing ground and it works fairly often. All Elevator has to do is spend a bit of cash and make People Mover believe he's won a free vacation. People Mover isn't that dumb though but he doesn't mind because the ceilings in airports are pretty low so most, if not all of their fights go like this:
- The People Mover wants to take over the world because he wants everyone to live in the tropics.
- Mr. Elevator gets wise and tricks The People Mover into arriving at the airport.
- Heading to the gate, The People Mover flaunts his mutant power by gliding alongside the actual people mover.
- He gets ambushed by Mr. Elevator and they wrestle for awhile, flying up, down, left and right.
- They declare a stalemate and decide to go on vacation together.
- They go somewhere with lots of quicksand. Another trick!
- Mr. Elevator saves the day again while beating The People Mover senseless while fighting on quicksand.
"Give me an open sky and some water or quicksand underneath my feet and I will save your planet. My planet, sorry, I'm from here too. I've never really felt at home though."
- Mr. Elevator
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