SHARPEN YOUR PENCILS CHILDREN, IT'S TIME TO RE-WRITE THE BIBLE

MAD, MAN

A Critical Look Into Modern Advertising

Today on Mad, Man I take issue with the latest trend in spokespeople, a trend I call the "Hyper Masculine Über-Confident Silly Magic Man".

It all started with the Old Spice guy who by using magic and nonsense, showed us that Old Spice deoderant will make girls want to rub you because you smell like "Volcano Gush". The campaign was a viral hit spawning a toy line, a cookbook as well as a half-hour children's cartoon called "Old Spicey", featuring an eponymously named storyteller telling tales of ancient noses.

"I smell like I murdered 39 Olympians for these medals, dude"

Realizing that Old Spice was eating into their profits, the Dos Equis beer company made up their own guy called "The Most Interesting Man in the World" who was a mix between the Old Spice super dude, Indiana Jones and Chuck Norris jokes from 2001. He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he makes sure you know is puuuuure hetero. 

Since then the trend has exploded. A recent stroke-inducing incarnation is this Dairy Queen guy who just kind uses his magic to show that DQ is tasty or something. I honestly don't even know. The formula for these ads seems to be: 1) Find a guy 2) Have him perform magic 3) Say nonsense. Canadian Club whisky has this new guy called "The Chairman" who acts like Dos Equis man combined with TV's Ron Swanson and Kraft Dinner now has a Robin Hood type who makes cracks about his "orange noodle". I made the last one up because advertising is all lies.

Whatever your opinion of this trend is, you have to admit it's working a lot better than Uncle Ben's "Uncle Ben is Gay" campaign.

The Back Pages

The Human's History

I wonder if cavemen made the food - poo connection. Who were the first humans to figure it out? Poo is so different from food that I bet it took awhile. Egyptians I bet. 

Food for Thought

A "dick fart" is piss steam.