BRIEFS IN SHORT

Over the past week I've seen some of the most heartwarming, and at times, heartbreaking television. Watch out books, Marshall McLuhan was right -- "TV rules". Did you guys watch Battle of the Blades last night? So many stories! Such good moves. Great show. I like how the show is like Dancing with the Stars and American Idol etc. but instead of glitz and glamour, Battle of the Blades is hosted by an old man and a little bald guy. Actually, most Canadian television personalities are some combination of old/little/bald.

Then there was this thing on Project Runway where this little guy told the world that he's HIV positive, and then his outfit won the challenge and the whole world was just hugging each other. He inspired me to share my secret, which is that I hate toads. Just kidding, I don't have any secrets and I don't mind toads, except those big ones that take your money if you don't solve their riddles.

Yesterday I went apple pickin'. There's nothing heartbreaking about that, unless you're a freak who thinks apples are living things too, and shouldn't be eaten. I guess those people don't actually exist because they wouldn't be able to eat anything except like, Tang. Before pickin' we went on a hike at Rattlesnake Point, famous for once being the backdrop to an episode of "My Secret Identity". In the episode Jerry O'Connell had to stop a wood nymph from turning the forest into a real deal gremlin patch. Anyway, the hike turned into a full-on cross-country bushwhack headed by my friend's dad, who is in his sixties but still climbs mountains and skis like a damn ice croc.

Once of several hills we all almost fell down

We had to climb this fuckin' face

So now I have way too many apples and a bunch of cider. If you come over I'll provide you an apple feast. I've already fed three weary travelers and here's their review:

"My favourite part was the apples"

"Pretty good, but way too much ham in the apple gumbo"

"Cool bathroom at that place"