INTERLUBE

Just before I left for work this morning I stopped by the bed to give my sleeping girl a goodbye lick on the arm when I noticed that our air conditioner was blowing out white air. White air is way better than yellow air, but I can't help but wonder if the old boy is struggling. That air conditioner is the only thing keeping our apartment from becoming the inside of a Corvette with the windows closed sitting in the middle of the vast Sri Lankan bayou in August.

Plus, I don't want the hassle of buying a new one, which isn't that hard, but I'd rather spend the money on this new drug I discovered called CEREAL. Just joking, I've been eating the stuff my whole life. I need to re-discover Crispix. Did I mention I'm sick of Mini-Wheats? I even bought new Mini-Wheats Centres as a way of re-kinkling my romance, but the amount of centre in each square was pathetic. It's like if you were having relationship trouble and you asked your wife kindly to go out and buy some nice lingerie in an effort to jump start your vas deferens, and she comes back with a sports bra and a 6-pack of Hanes full seaters. 

Anyway, I'd put better odds on horses learning how to make fresh tagliatelle than me smoothly and correctly installing an air conditioner in my window.

Do you think that when an airplane hangar gets hot, they just turn on all the planes for a bit?

 Also, happy Independence Day to the United States, my most visited foreign country and home to the best convenience stores in the world. When I was a little boy we went on a trip to Canada's east coast and on the way home we cut through the USA, which I think was my first time there. I remember entering New York State and thinking that I'd see celebrities on every corner. When I exited our brown Ford Taurus into the hotel parking lot I yelled out "Hellllloooo America!".

Goodbye and I hope your shoes fit today.