IF YOU COOKED A LION A STEAK WOULD HE LIKE IT BETTER THAN RAW AND COVERED IN MUD AND GRASS?

Your December 16th advent chocolate looks like this:

The legend of Christmas states that if you cross your toes, see a shooting star and have ONE finger dipped in a mug of Neo Citran while you eat your advent chocolate you turn into whatever is depicted on said chocolate. So head up to your roof, brew up some hot lemon medicine and maybe, just maybe the Good St. Santa Claus will dust you with Christmas spice and you'll turn into either that radical lady, that tubular fish, or the ultimate -- the lady holding the fish. Be careful though because you don't want to turn into a dirty old river. My old best friend got turned into the Ohio, Easter '95 after successfully performing the Bunny Twist while throwing a curveball at a dart board hanging from the scoreboard of a community hockey rink.

On the personal side of shit, I concluded my first class last night with a wine and cheese party. I didn't really talk much about it on here because there really wasn't much to tell and besides, would you rather read about school or made up advent stories and stuff like that?

But yeah, I did enjoy the class and learned a lot, while enjoying the company of the teach and my whimsical classmates. Whether or not I'll actually get my poo together enough to actually make a stab at the advertising world is yet to seen. I'm planning on making some moves come the New Year, but first I have to keep the promise I made to myself following the 1996 Nagano Olympic games, which was to win gold in 2010 in the four man bobsled. Here's my squad:

Driver - Santa Claus

This guy drives the best sled ever made and only works one day a year. When I approached him with the prospect of winning an Olympic medal, he said "Last year I spent February getting high scores on a hand held Yahtzee while trying to convince Mrs. Claus to dress sexier, so yeah I'm in".

Pusher 1 - Buzz's girlfriend

After making a brief appearance in Home Alone, Buzz's girlfriend ate only radishes, dropped 90 pounds and changed the face of modern video games by inventing Sony's Playstation. Not one to turn down a challenge, this former hog makes a welcome addition to the team.

Pusher 2 - Cool Dog

Everyone knows that the fourth member of any bobsled team is mostly there for show, which is why I hired this cool dog named Ernie to bring the crowd to it's stinkin' knees. This golden guy can catch a frisbee in his mouth and sometimes you can get him to bark and it sounds like he's saying "Surf's up".

I'll of course be the brake man and overall king of the team. We've never competed before and my team doesn't exist, but dreams are bricks of life and I'm building the biggest hypothetical condo/Home Depot you ever saw.