September 21, 2008


9:49 p.m.

We're well into the show and everyone looks soooooooooo glamourous! Everyone looks so beautiful and it's such a damn special night. There's a lot of magic in the air. Jon Stewart just pulled a peanut butter sandwich out of his tux and shared it with Everyone Loves Raymond.

9:58 pm

Don Rickles is wearing a floppy bow tie and Kathy Griffin is wearing a nice couch as a dress.

9:59 pm

The nominees for best reality-competition program... and..... The Emmy goes to The 2008 Duluth Bass Pro Am.

Actually the Amazing Race won, but do you think sports guys are mad they're not nominated in that category? Like John Madden enjoys the Emmys every year but forgets about this category and then it comes on and he remembers and gets all mad and his wife goes, "John, I told you not to watch this. Didn't I tell you? You do this every year. Don't look at me like that. Put down that football. You can't play now it's dark out. Shut up about my shoes! Okay fine I'll wake up the cat. No, we don't have any feathers."

10:02 p.m.

Tom Hanks looks like he's wearing a beaver tail for hair and his glasses look like they're made out of straws. I wish the Emmys was just Larry David up there complaining the whole time.

Alright I'm going to eat ice cream for dessert and then pack it in. I'm starting a new book about inventions in the 20th century (the Internet probably) tonight. For a brief period I was really into Nikola Tesla. He's my favourite inventor. Thomas Edison hated his ass.

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