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September 23, 2008

THINK ABOUT YOUR ELBOW, YOU HAVEN'T IN A WHILE HAVE YOU??

At my place of employment, I have the luxury of sitting next to a window that looks over "The Lady by the Lake", "The Jewel of Ontario's Stool", "The Place to Sit your Face", "The Urban Ruby" - Toronto. Occasionally I get bummed out about the monontony of my work and gaze out the window like a child gazing into an ice cream store at the girl that works there because she wears low-cut tops every damn day, and I realize that my job isn't that bad. This is because I can see other jobs out my window that MUST be far worse. There's this big building nearing completion and I've been monitoring how quickly they've been installing the windows. That must be the worst job. This is a big building. Several floors. And some group of guys have to install the same window hundreds, maybe thousands of times, over and over again. I think I may start bringing my camera to work so I can illustrate this properly, but you get it right? Just imagine you had to put in all the windows at a place like this.

A big spider has set up a network of webs outside my window and is currently dominating the fly population. This guy has enough food for a long damn time and I get to see him eat them. Again, a picture would be helpful, and I'm sooooooo sorry, I'm SO sorry I don't have one, so here's something to make up for it:



Gross!!!

I was going to write something else about jobs, but I'll spare you for today. Instead, here's a spur of the moment comedy bit that I'll make up as I go along:

In a NASA space ship

Capt. - All systems are totally normal, and we're looking good
Other astronaut - I think I need a haircut
Capt. - Yeah maybe, but like, who cares right now you know?
Other astronaut - It's just one of those things. I've always had pretty nice hair and it's getting way too shaggy
Capt. - Yeah, but you're in space, doing a great job on this mission and like, who cares about that now. Look out the port window. It's Earth man. Look at that. Not many people have done what we're doing or seen what we've seen
Other Astronaut - Lay off chief. I'm just starting a conversation. And if I say I want a haircut, who's to stop me? You? There's no rules in space. It's like international waters. I could kill you up here and no court would convict me.
Capt. - Yeah they would
Other astronaut - No. Think about it. No one owns space.
Capt. - .......
Other - ......

Then they fight and they both die. Aliens find the ship lost in space

Zort - It seems these idiots fought themselves to death
Grant - Agreed. Should we report this to Leader?
Zort - No court would convict them
Grant - They might convict us. Maybe we killed them
Zort - We didn't.
Grant - I know...but it might seem that way..
Zort - Maybe....you killed them...
Grant - ....you did
Zort - you did

They fight and die then they drift into a black hole to Eagle World where Eagle Lord makes them an example of how not do things man.

How was that? Yeah I know. A little too sci-fi.

2 comments:

highwaisted said...

waaaaayyy too sci fi

Duke of Spook said...

Next time I'll throw in some nude people or some action explosions

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