STOP IT BLOBBY

This post will begin with something personal and then go into something silly. You can read both or only one. But if you choose the wrong one I'll send your soul to the depths of the the Black Motel in beautiful Santa Cruz California. Just kidding, there is no wrong one. I said you can read both or only one! This is like a Mindtrap puzzle isn't it? Two grandmas are sitting on top of the Empire State building. One is holding a lemonade and is the other one's daughter. How is this possible? I made that one up.

Okay, so part (A) will be the personal section and part (B) will be the silly section. Ready? GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGPOOPOOGOGOGOGOGO

(A) This year I tried to write a spec script so I could become a TV writer. I got half way through and then I sort of gave up because my plot was going to the birds. A spec script is where you write a script for a show that's already on TV and then you use it to get an agent and then some work. Like most young writers out there today, I tried to write an episode of "The Office" even though I haven't seen every episode and I sometimes forget characters' names. The point of this story is that I needed something to talk about today. I do plan on finishing it at some point, but it's tough bologna for these reasons:

- I'm lazy
- I'm impatient
- I second guess a lot of my ideas
- Fear of rejection

I know I can finish it, but like any musician or welder will tell you, "Writing a song/welding is easy. But writing a good song/welding real nice is tough".

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(B) In beard news, I've got one going full-force. Having a beard is really good because people think you're a real man and it turns your face into a lawn, on which you can mow and pattern you desire. When I have a beard going, I play with it a lot, almost obsessively to the point where I end up shaving it all off because I'm sick of touching it even though I can't stop. I'm really going to let this one rip though. Unless I get a job interview. I kind of wish that grooming didn't exist and everyone just walked around with beards and long manes. Technically that's what people are supposed to look like. Beard man is the default man - Beard man with long, talon-like fingernails and long hair. If you ever see a guy like this on the street, don't mock him - he should be mocking you. He's the normal one. You're just a future man with non-functional aesthetic trims. The only time a random girl has ever talked to me on a streetcar I happened to be brandishing a moustache. Has this paragraph opened your mind? Has it changed your perspective? That's okay, I'm just glad you're here, you know?


Which did you like better, A or B? The more sensitive people are going to say A and the bozos are going to pick B. By the way, the answer to that seemingly impossible Mindtrap question I posed earlier about the grandmas is that the one grandma gave the other a lemonade to say she's her daughter because she wanted to feel young again. They're on the Empire State Building because it's all a dream. I think that's why.