September 3, 2009


Have you ever got the feeling that you're due for an award?

I have a spotless driving record, I visit with my family all the time, I praise my friends for their accomplishments, I buy cancer lottery tickets, I know my basic dinosaurs, I support gay marriage, I'm good with money, I have a steady job, I can cook, I love birds, I play the guitar, I shower every day, I'm nice to strangers, I appreciated the night sky, I don't dumb down things when I talk to children, I feel bad for old people, I only mock those who mock others, and I ride a bike.

So please nominate me for something. I don't need a trophy, but a gala dinner would be nice.

Check out this buried treasure:

This blog is going to have a lot of different features and fun interviews with your favourite celebrities.

I’m the author and I’m 25 years old. I’m going to use this blog to make you think I do more with my life than you do. I’m also going to use it as a hangout for my thoughts. It’s going to be the Wendy’s of the Internet, but instead of cheeseburgers you get Times New Romans and instead of paying money you pay me with attention.

I found that on my computer's "Documents" folder. It's from when I was first formulating this blog a couple years back, along with a new kind of cola that also works as a marinade for lamb. Turns out kids don't like the cool taste of oregano.

My prophecies were true! Tthis blog truly IS the Wendy's of the Internet, and we've all had a lot of fun with some great celebrity interviews over the years, haven't we? Who can forget this classic with Survivor's Jeff Probst:

WIDAHIA - Hi Jeff, I noticed you're not wearing your signature khaki adventure wear.

JP - Yeah, weird! No big deal though. It's my daughter's wedding today and as they said in Survivor Australia, "Different pants for different evants".

WIDAHIA - When's the wedding?

JP - We're about ten minutes in now.

WIDAHIA - Shouldn't you be there?

JP - Who says I'm not, Buster Brown?

WIDAHIA - Okay, even if you are there, you're wearing a old t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Where's your tux?

JP - Up your butt and around the corner. You know where I first heard that retort? Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, 1976.

WIDAHIA - Can you tell us anything about the new season?

JP - Autumn?

WIDAHIA - No, your show on CBS - Survivor?

JP - Baby, that's real life!

Mr. Probst then exited, leaving behind an autographed 8x10 of himself and three packages of unopened Upper Deck baseball cards with a note that said "In your dreams big guy".


scott said...

"I visit with my family all the time"

Says the guy skipping his sister's birthday this weekend.

Duke of Spook said...

Stay out of it!

Blog Directory by Blog Flux