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September 23, 2009

POOR BOY BETS DAD'S CORN AGAINST RICH BOY'S NICE TOILET PAPER

I was riding my two wheeler to work this morning and passed by a "Hollywood North" film set on University Ave. While stopped at a light, a portly crew member said into his radio in a serious tone:

"There's some nice looking sandwiches coming your way"

I've never really been on a real film set, but I figure most of the day is spent discussing catering and its location thereof. This guy seemed like an industry vet, so they must have been some nice sandwiches.

On the other hand, maybe he was speaking in set codes. A "nice looking sandwich" could mean a big light or an actress with a juicy butt.

OR maybe the guy just lost a bet, in which sandwiches were the reward:

"I told you I knew all the lyrics to Ozzy Osbourne's Perry Mason."
"Alright, alright -- there's some nice looking sandwiches coming your way."



With Ozzy there's never any doubt behind the meanings of his lyrics -- in this case a crime has been committed and Perry Mason is the man for the job.

NEW TOPIC

I'm currently reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol, a book which smart people think is dumb without even reading it. I think these people are mad only because it got popular and their essays on "policies" and "social media" aren't. If you're going to pick on anyone, pick on Harlan Coben. Dan Brown is a regular Issac Asimov compared to that man.

Seriously, why do bookworms care so much? If they hate Dan Brown because his prose isn't scholarly enough for them, then they might as well start hating on other pieces of "low brow" culture like Die Hard, The Simpsons, The Ramones and Pizza Pops. God forbid the whole world enjoy a BOOK. Not unlike Perry Mason, "Downtown" Brown tackles cool mysteries, not sentence structure and dramatic imagery. So I say to you detractors -- retreat to your loft, take off your sweater and get down with Brown -- you'll have way more fun than complaining about things like inauthentic sushi and gentrification.

1 comment:

cara said...

how is the new dan brown book anyway? i was thinking about pickin' 'er up. or else you can just lend it to me when done.

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