BIG GIG THIS WEEKEND
On Saturday, my friends Hayden and Julia are getting married and Andy and I are booked to be the MCs. As far as I know, a good wedding MC should:
- make the meal taste better
- make all the singles fall in love
- get everyone the perfect amount of drunk, based on personal tolerances - a true master can do this on the fly. All you really need to be able to do is tell the difference between man and woman, young and old, and big and small. Lucky for me, I have the eyes of a scorpion.
- make everyone cry. The kind of crying you do when you watch the end of
Shawshank Redemption - have a song ready to sing, just in case something goes wrong and a song is needed for some reason. Imagine there was an emergency and I belted out "Danny Boy"? Two birds with one stone. See point above. I'm the hero.
- look cooler and sexier than everyone but the bride and groom
HOLLYWOOD HOT PLATE WITH:
Just kidding, it's me still.
Whenever I hear about new public images of naked celebrities, I gotta check it them out because I've spent a lot of money on entertainment throughout my life, so the least they can do is give a little something back and show butt every now and then.
So when I heard that there was another Hollywood sex romp CAUGHT ON TAPE I had to see it. I'm talking of course about the one featuring Leonardo DiCaprio's older brother, Eric Dane, his 1990's wife Rebecca Gayheart and some other woman who has bigger cans than her. I'd describe this video as "everyday naked" because they don't do anything but hang out nude and have an idiotic conversation. I wouldn't bother checking it out unless you're a real horn dog - but if you're a real horn dog you've probably already seen it. Or you didn't bother because you don't waste your time with grainy nude romps featuring c-list celebrities.
THOUGHTS
My office gives me a sore throat every day. It goes away and then I go back to work and it shows up again. Science or wizardry?
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