THE SPANISH ARE COMING AND THEY'RE BRINGING TREATS

I'm back!

First, I traveled 20 years into the future. Our future Prime Minister is a cocky 21 year old named Han Troop - he's a Liberal who gets things done. Anyway, then I went BACK in time to 1998, taught my past self about girls, then went FORWARD to this past weekend, had some experiences, then BACK again to 2005, grabbed a Snapple and went to an Internet Cafe where I'm writing this. I have it scheduled to post at exactly 5:00 am on September 31st, 2009. I'll spare you all my adventure stories and just talk about that weekend that I experienced.

On the weekend I watched a bunch of the critically acclaimed "The Sopranos", the TV show whose logo uses a gun for the letter "r" - great graphic design AND storytelling! I'm on season 2. If you see me in a deli don't ruin anything for me or I'll have your toilet broken by this guy I know who breaks toilets by peeing weird into them.

On Saturday I tried to go shopping for some stuff and against all odds I ALMOST bought a new coat. But the colour was blah blah, so I passed. We also saw that movie "IN THE LOOP" which was a laughy piece that really ruled.

Whence night fell, my friend Brendan threw a BBQ in honour of his 27th year and this guy Eddie made a pork feast that really captured pig magic. I also drank a 40oz, which I haven't had in a while laughed the night away at various rated R stories from my friends.

Sunday I played tennis and went to Sunday Night Live for an industry showcase best of show. Those guys are good guys and there was free beer and bacon-centric "orr derves". Take THAT French language.

STYLE WATCH

On the subway we saw this guy immersed in a novel and he was wearing a "Great Gatsby" t-shirt that looked like this:
Only this guy wasn't a hip dude like the hairless armed guy up there. Even if he was I think that shirt is pretty bad. That's the kind of shirt that ONLY a fat party animal should wear in the most ironic way possible. Otherwise you just look like a snooty mule. You might was well be wearing a shirt that says "I read books". It would be a lot better if it were just the art and not the words. I'd be okay with that. And what I says matters because I'm a part of this puzzle we call "society" and I'll more than allowed to. Han Troop taught me that over Pancetta Whoopers at a Burger King Express. Never heard of them? Come 2029 you will.