MYTHBUSTERS SHOULD DO A SHOW ABOUT GHOSTS AND IT'LL BE THE BE ALL, END ALL

WEEKEND FILL IN - PART ONE - THE FIRST LITTLE BIT - NO SUNDAY FOR ALL YOU BEAN COUNTERS

Holy farts, I'm soooooo tired. It's Sunday night and I just had a heck of a weekend full of ups, downs, lefts, rights, ones and zeroes, Kool Aid and Tang and you get it, but it was mostly all fun and smooth things.

On Friday, some of us men took our good, to be married next week friend Julia out to Hamilton for a "Beeforette" party. We all went to univserity together in the anus of Ontario where we loved getting roast beef sandwiches from "Tally Ho", the restaurant. Roast beef, golden fries and gravy darker than grandma's stale basement.

The world famous "Beef Basket". It doesn't come with a soft drink but it does come with coleslaw which is a refreshing alternative.

Chocolate pudding? I wouldn't mind some, but I'm glad it's gravy. Thick enough that you for sure couldn't swim in it.

When I crave Tally Ho this is how it all goes down in my head.

Double beef basket

Bride to be cheats on her husband with Jacob Beef Sandwich. A sandwich, not a guy.

Then we wanted beers so we went to Hess Village, which is an area with a bunch of bars. Bars the business, not the construction material. We went to a very empty "Smooth Hermans" and found out why it was empty when they gave us re-used plastic cups to drink out of, complete with old beer residue.

Baseball action logos and speed letters were all the rage in the 1980's, but dirty plastic cups and shitty menus were never very popular.

So we headed back to Toronto and got smashed at Comedy Bar, where a big guy from Calgary kept buying everyone big drinks. He said I drink like a woman. I think I drink more like an inexperienced teenager.

On Saturday, a friend needed some cheering up and good company so we dudes went to go see that movie everyone loves, "District 9", which was dynamite for sure. That movie is just great. Before that though, Jon and I hit the public pool for a typical summer dip. The musty part was that we had to wait half an hour when we got there because they had just put some chemicals in. Everyone on the deck was so anxious, and then in a perfect summer moment, they announced it was open again and everyone screamed and cannonballed in, babes included.

Since this was such a jam packed weekend full of intrigue and ice cube trays, I'll continue tomorrow with part 2. I'll probably mention District 9 again and then gloat about how relaxed I was on Sunday. Plus, when you sit your family down for dinner tonight and your son asks about what's happening tomorrow you can tell him what to expect instead of lying to him like you usually do. You're still a cool parent though. Just keep the fresh chips and R rated comedies coming.