October 30, 2008


There will be no more Halloween talk until after Halloween where I’ll give you a post game report: How much candy I got, how many houses I egged, my favourite costume, my least favourite costume, sexiest male costume, sexiest female costume etc. I’ll also post my predictions for the ‘08-‘09 NBA season, premiere a hilarious new comic based on Kant’s categorical imperative AND I have an exclusive interview with Delroy Lindo! All coming up next week!

Last night I had a dream that I stole a bag of chips from a store and then immediately regretted it. They weren’t even the kind I wanted and I can easily afford chips. After this dream I tossed and turned all night long and it was really bothering me, so when I woke up I called my good friend Dr. Heath Prickler of the Ontario Dream Institute (ODI) and we met up to talk about my dreams. Here’s what he had to say:

The chips may indicate many things, paramount among them being the fact that you simply like chips.

Spot on Doc. I do love chips. Especially the savory crunch of Miss Vicki’s new Rosemary and Basil chips. Talk about a warm hug on a crisp autumn morn!

The stealing may indicate a need to take back what’s yours. Does this resonate with you?

Not really.

Have you stolen anything lately?


Do you want to steal anything?


Have you ever stolen anything?

Yeah, like forever ago.

Of course. Your subconscious is telling you that you have a yearning to steal again. Specifically chips. You should steal us some chips.

You just described what happened in my dream. Are you a real doctor?

You tell me.


I know what your dreams mean.

… there such thing as the Ontario Dream Institute?

Can I have some chips?

Get out of here.

We’re in a McDonalds, I can be here if I please

Okay, then I’ll leave.

Please don’t....I'll tell you a joke..

So the guy didn’t really help me at all. I should’ve known he was a fake, as I met him at a murder mystery party. I didn’t really put two and two together at the time. He was really good at that party. He won. I played a disgruntled ex-ball player and spent the whole time eating these homemade spicy peanuts.

All that up there didn’t actually happen. The only real thing in this entry so far is the chips dream, which is serious business. I hope you guys like fake interviews with weirdos because there’s been a lot on here lately.

Here’s some real stuff: I watched Silence of the Lambs for the first time ever last night and it didn’t blow my toes off. I think it’s because so many movies (Se7en, this Christopher Lambert movie ‘Resurrection’ about a guy who makes a new Jesus) have copied it since then so to me it wasn’t that big a deal. But Anthony Hopkins was quite a treat to watch. Who would win in a fight between Hannibal Lecter and Batman? Lecter would eat Batman’s brain and become Hannibal Batman. Silly? Yes. Sorry.

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