CRUSTY, PALE, SCABBY, YEP - THAT'S A NICE LOOKIN' BABY

Holy smokes you guys, I think I have a lot to say today, but usually when I plan on talking about something I describe it in one sentence and then I don't have anything to add, so this may suck sticks. Let's get on with the JAM SESSION:

On Saturday I packed the day with really fun activities that make you say "POW". First I went over to Honest Ed's to do some clothes shopping. Honest Ed's is like going to Winners but with way shittier stuff and every so often you can come away with some real gems. So it's sort of like exploring for gems but at a store like Winners, but no real gems, just weird clothes. This last few times I've gone I've come away empty handed, but this time I got:

A Barack Obama shirt
Three sports hats
a glass bowl
new socks with cool stripes

I gave two of the hats to two friends, while I kept the third for myself. Liv says I look like a little boy in it because I have a wee head. While I somewhat agree, I personally think I look very hip hop. Judge for yourselves:

Either way, a new hat's a new hat and I plan on wearing it no matter what anyone says. It was only $1.79. Only some dumb guy wouldn't have bought it. That dumb guy would've got home, opened his beans, sat on his rug, thought about the hat and then he would've thrown his beans against his wall paper covered wall because he remembered the hat.

After that, myself, Liv, my sister and this guy Stein went to Benihana to take advantage of their Winterlicious deal. I've always wanted to go there because I love all things teriyaki and I also love Japanese men cooking things in front of me. I had never been before and man ohhh boy, it was a good feed. Nothing very funny happened except these two ladies at our table didn't know how to use chopsticks, which isn't all that funny really, but come on. I learned how to use those things at 20 and I thought I was late. This part of the weekend is called Asian Sensation.

THEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I went to the Sean Schau at Comedy Bar, which is hosted by Sean Cullen who is the funniest guy really. That guy can do no wrong in my book. Doesn't that Pizza Hut pasta look gross? They say that it's 'restaurant quality', which I guess means that Pizza Hut isn't officially a restaurant. It'd be funny if someone slipped up, like Pizza Hut has this legal clause where it can't call itself a restaurant because of the grease of something, but some ad guy assumed everyone knew that so in the commercial he made sure everyone knew that the quality is up to "restaurant standards" but when everyone saw it they're like "what? Pizza Hut isn't a restaurant?" and the guy is like "I thought everyone knew that!" and Pizza Hut is pissed. That's a bit of a stretch, but I think I had a good thesis.

Intermission

Here's the music video I made this weekend, featuring a song I made a few years back:



All the footage is from the Internet, even the popcorn in the toilet which I guess someone made for dudes into plumbing to show how much that particular toilet can handle, right? It's weird because it wasn't until I was done that I realized I named the fake group the Popcorn Twins and there's popcorn in the toilet. DOOIII!

On Sunday I played floor hockey and we dominated. Then I went to Sunday Night Live at Comedy Bar and what a good show it was. It's on every Sunday at 9 and you guys should go every so often because I don't think you'd regret it. Have you been to Comedy Bar yet? Why not? There's good stuff every day. And it's got such a cool sign out front. Good food, good brew, good laughs, good floor, good lights, sorta good chairs - Comedy Bar. The Place.

I didn't have time to call Enbridge this morning, so you'll have to wait to hear how the saga will end. It probably won't be as funny as last time I called because this time I know what to do.

Let's have a fun week, okay? The sun is sort of out and it's not minus a million so everyone lighten up and get down and strap a smile onto your human head.

I'll be back tomorrow with so much more stuff in your eye.