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February 3, 2009

I'M SICK OF COMPLAINING BUT IT'S ALL I KNOW. AND I KNOW MUSCLE CARS TOO.

Last night I was tossing and turning and kicking and scrunching all night long. That's the worst. I guess it usually happens when one has a lot on their mind or something. Do doctors know the answer? It's no big deal. I sleep like a bay-bay most of the time, thanks to the pillow I'm currently using which is probably the best pillow I've ever been associated with. It's got good flop, yet it's rigid, and it's soft yet supportive. The Egyptian cotton (like silk but not slippery) sheets we have round out our sleep package resulting in an unparalleled slumber, promoting dreams of adventure and eroticism. Last night I had a dream I was Rick Moranis from Ghostbusters and I was about to have sex with Sigourney Weaver in that scene where they're both possessed and they finally meet and then they do it. But it didn't end up happening. Remember water beds? No one uses those anymore. Rich guys rely on space foam nowadays. Space foam and water beds. Good and bad. Left and right. Ones and zeroes.

That was supposed to be a segue but it ended up being too poetic. It's too beautiful to be a segue, right? Today I'm going to do another edition of GOOD AND BAD. See? Up there? I said 'Good and bad' up there. Sloppy.

GOOD

Simple pleasures make the world go 'round, don't they? I'm definitely a man of simple pleasures. I can get into a good mood just by cleaning a table I've been meaning to clean or by calling someone I've been meaning to call. Do you see where this is going? Probably not. Anyway, here's a simple pleasure: Shopping at an out of town thrift store. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeaaahhhhhh.

Thrift stores in the city are no good because there are too many people looking for the same stuff as you so chances are you won't find any true gems without really scouring. I remember I went to a Goodwill in Florida when I was 16 and I found some really good stuff (a Fonzie button and a nice shirt) that wouldn't last a second around here. Back in high school we'd go to Value Village in Mississauga and come home with bags full of winners. In fact, my wardrobe today is largely based in those purchases. So next time you go on vacation and you're all bored and you go to the mall and you think it's going to be cool, but then it has the same stores as Sherway Gardens and you're bummed, try to find the local thrift store and shop to your throat's content.

BAD

One of my most hated things to do in the world is write a cover letter. I've been writing these things for the last year as I've been job searching and I swear it's the most painful experience in the world next to a bear attack or a tiger attack or a shitty exam. I was writing one last night and I was swearing out loud by myself. This only happens when I'm:

A) writing cover letters
B) playing video games
C) putting something together or fixing something

There's something smarmy about selling yourself in three paragraphs and feeling the pressure to address every little qualification the job lists. Wouldn't it make more sense for the employer to provide a questionnaire of some sort? I'd be much more comfortable doing that. Or you send in a quick video of yourself or something? There's got to be a better way. I wish there was like a job permanent record of some sort. My record is clean! I've been a really good worker. I've never been fired. I write really nice letters of resignation!

PLUS, you're basically graded on your cover letter with a distinct 'pass' or 'fail'. You pass if you get an interview and you fail if you don't. Simple as that. By that logic, I've failed 98% of all my cover letters since I started looking for a new job, making writing a new one even worse because I feel like anything I write is going to be ineffective. Maybe I'm just not qualified enough for the jobs I apply for. That could definitely be it.

I talk a lot about jobs, which you may or may not be interested in, but my moods are usually based around employment and I spend most of my time at a job so in order to make the title of the blog relevant, jobs must be discussed. I'll talk about motorcycles, skydiving and babes at a later date. I once had a dirt bike! Serious!

There's these guys who go out on the ice covered lake in front of Harbourfront Centre that I can see out my window and I really want to know what they're up to but I'm too far away. My guess is they're training. I hope they're fishing. Or they're just crazy or something. That's way more interesting.

2 comments:

cara said...

i read that if you email in your cover letter, you should put "Ideal candidate for Cool Job" in the subject line (but instead of Cool Job put the actual job title). i tried it a couple months ago. did they call me back? NO. and i was the IDEAL CANDIDATE!!!

Chlo said...

oh lord my life right now centres around swearing and gnashing (nashing? gnashing?) my teeth at half finished cover letters. cover letters that all fail.
siiiggh

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